Humorous - Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits


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Hen Party - Cross Stitch Pattern by Little House Needleworks
Model stitched on 28ct. Creme Brulee using DMC & Crescent Colours. Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company. Stitch count: 82 x 54.

(1 review)
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Welcome to the Nuthouse - Cross Stitch Pattern by Waxing Moon Designs
A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Model was stitched on 28 ct Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads (DMC alternates available).

(2 reviews)
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Water Essential - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Water is the most essential element of life, without it u can't make coffee." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Beige Jobelan with Caron Collection Waterlilies and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 121W x 103H

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Menopausal Dwarfs - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
Names of the seven menopausal dwarfs - "Itchy, Bitchy, Sleepy, Sweaty, Bloaty, Forgetful, and Psycho." Model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. fabric of your choice with Sullivan's Floss (or DMC floss 972, 970, 3845, 703, 702, 3608, 3607, 208, 413). Stitch Count: 55x84.

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Ten Extra Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
"When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs, and rear." Model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. fabric of your choice with Sullivan's floss (or DMC White, 739, 738, 436, 3828, 420, 954, 912, 911, 819, 818, 3326, 335, 309, 356, 841, 839, 898, 3371, 318, 3790). Stitch Count: 57x80.

(7 reviews)
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Mess Stitch Wit - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
"Sorry about the mess, but we live here" - This witty sentiment sums up what makes a house a home. The Mess Stitch Wit by Dimensions is a fun and easy counted cross stitch project. Stitch and finish in the included hoop. Finished size: 6" diameter. This counted cross stitch kit includes: Cotton thread, 14 count ivory Aida, 6" plastic hoop, Needle, Easy instructions.

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Troubled Water - Cross Stitch Pattern by Ink Circles
The first in a "Bad Neighborhoods" series - featuring dead fish floating in the water! Model stitched on 30 Ct. Beige linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC 3013, 3328, 3854, 3835, 3773, 746, 801, 3363, 932, 612). Stitch Count: 71x81.

(2 reviews)
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Who Ate My Ice Cream? - Cross Stitch Pattern by Vickery Collection
Model stitched on 16 Ct. white Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count 169x107

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Not My Monkeys - Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
"Not my circus, not my monkeys." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 174x130. Designed by Ursula Michael.

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I Cross Stitch - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I cross stitch so I don't kill people". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count Aida, cotton thread, one 6 inch wood hoop, needle and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Ashes - Cross Stitch Pattern by Turquoise Graphics and Designs
"Ashes of difficult patterns." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Twilight Mist Jobelan with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC floss 3852, 209, 927, 535, 169, 433, 3012, 3740, 930, 932, 612, 3823, 610, 3740, 642, 939, 844, 935, 932, 831). Stitch Count: 64W x 115H.

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Aunty Acid Mirrors Don't Lie Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for some they don't laugh either". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Full Glass - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "The glass is always full - 1 half air plus 1 half water". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Hell - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Hell Is Other People". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Symbols - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features a humorous sentiment. This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Aunty Acid Other Personalities Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "I wish one of my other personalities loved to clean". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Dust Bunnies - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "The dust bunnies killed my cleaning fairy". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Life's Journey - Cross Stitch Kit by Bobbie G Designs
"Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out, shouting Holy Cow what a ride - unknown." Kit includes 14 Ct. White Aida, thread, needle, chart, instructions, and color key. Finished size is 6" x 10.5".

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A Few Hoots - Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
"Families are like owls. Mostly sweet with a few hoots." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 83x210. Designed by Ursula Michael.

(3 reviews)
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Early to Bed - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Early to bed, early to rise. Who are we kidding?" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 53W x 85H.

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Bathing Beauties - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
This Cross Stitch Kit comes complete with 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, Beads, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 12" x 12".

(3 reviews)
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Packed Up Her Potential - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"She packed up her potential and all that she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things." Complete kit includes 28 ct white linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

(1 review)
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All About Me - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.

(3 reviews)
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Be Flexible - Cross Stitch Pattern by Xs And Ohs
"If you're flexible, you'll never get bent out of shape." Model stitched on 28 ct Peach cloud by Fabric flair using DMC floss. Stitch count 128x116.

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Inner Tube - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"Success is just having one more patch than you have holes in your inner tube." Complete kit includes 28 ct pink linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

(1 review)
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Morning Dog - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Do I look like a morning person". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7"

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Work - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous office sentiment "Work fascinates me... I can sit and look at it for hours". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

(1 review)
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Grumpy - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Sometimes I wake up grumpy, sometimes I let him sleep in". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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How Do You Take Your Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"How do you take your coffee? Seriously, very seriously." Stitch Count: 100W x66H. Model stitched on 32 ct Antique white Jobelan using Gentle Art Simply wool, Caron Waterlilies & DMC.

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Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
Don't be shy - "Wine a bit, You'll feel Better!" Includes wine bottle charm. Finished design size is 5 1/4" x 3 3/4" when stitched on 14 Count fabric.

(2 reviews)
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Pirate's Creed - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
"The beatings will continue until morale improves." Model was stitched on Summer Khaki Lugana, 28 ct. Uses DMC floss. When stitched on 14/28 count fabric, this design fits nicely into a standard 5" x 7" frame. Includes silver pirate charm.

(3 reviews)
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Aged Wine - Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
"Wine gets better with age. The older I get the better I like it."
Model stitched on 14 count white cloth using DMC.
Stitch count: 44W x 140H.

(2 reviews)
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Cats, The - Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Model stitched on 18ct. White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 141w x 162h.

(1 review)
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Country Wise - Cross Stitch Pattern by Prairie Schooler
Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch count: "Plan Ahead" - 157W x 38H; "Keep it Simple" - 160W x 38H; "Measure Twice" - 113W x 70H; "The Witch is In" - 59W x 41H. Book #130

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Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.

(2 reviews)
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Don't Get Your Tinsel In A Tangle - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
Model stitched on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.

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Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.

(1 review)
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Tequila & Salt - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sunflower Seed
Stitched on 18 count Lemon Drop Linen with DMC floss, Weeks Dye Works, DMC and buttons from Just Another Button Company. The stitch count is 75W x 100H.

(1 review)
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Warped Humor - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I have a warped sense of humor and I'm not afraid to use it." Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 95W x 63H.

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Laundry Today Learn-A-Craft - Beginner Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
With its humorous sentiment, Laundry Today is a fun way to get the family to pick up their clothes! A great design for beginners to learn counted cross stitch. Finished Size: 6" diameter (15 cm). Contains presorted cotton thread, 14 count white cotton Aida, 6" plastic hoop, needle and easy instructions.

(1 review)
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Cat Bad Hair Day - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Welcome bad hair day - it's only one day, not the rest of your life."
Model stitched on 32 Ct. White Linen using DMC floss, Caron Waterlilies, Kreinik #4 Braid, Mill Hill Beads & Rainbow Gallery treasure braid PB33.
Stitch Count: 110W x 154H.

(1 review)
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Stitch Wits I'd Agree - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Cross Stitch kit featuring the humorous sentiment "I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong". Put a smile on someone's face with witty little sayings and words of wisdom. This fun to stitch kit is quick to stitch, perfect as a quick weekend project or gift. This cross stitch kit contains 14 count ivory Aida, one 6 inch embroidery hoop for stitching and finishing, cotton thread, one needle and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches.

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Aunty Acid Crazy Crafter Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "I run with scissors, I gallop with glue, I'm a crazy crafter, how 'bout you?". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Birthday Party (Laura's Thimbles) - Cross Stitch Pattern by AuryTm
Model is stitched on 28 count Stormy Gray Cashel using Crescent Colours threads. Stitch count: 121W x 24H.

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Cake Required - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"A great many things can be resolved with kindness. Even more with laughter, but there are some things that just require cake." Complete kit includes 28 ct green linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

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Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H.

(4 reviews)
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I Barely Survived - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I barely survived yesterday and it's already today!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and a Just Another Button Company button. Stitch Count: 85W x 53H.

(1 review)
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Is It Too Late? - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H. (DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310)

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1/2 Full or 1/2 Empty - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"1/2 full or half empty, still not enough coffee." Stitch Count: 96W x 64H. Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC and Gentle Art Simply Wool.

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A Very Faint Line - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"The line is very faint between hobby and mental illness." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ivory Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and Just Another Button Company buttons (4483S, 1171S, 3361, 3369M, 3387). Stitch Count: 48W x 83H.

(2 reviews)
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