Humorous - Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits


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As If - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "As If". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Aunty Acid Crazy Crafter Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "I run with scissors, I gallop with glue, I'm a crazy crafter, how 'bout you?". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Aunty Acid Grateful For Friday - Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Aunty Acid is a modern "with it" editorial that speaks about love, life, work and relationships. Display her wit and wisdom at home or in your work space. This cross stitch kit includes: 14 count Aida, 6-strand cotton floss, needle, graph and instructions. Alphabet included for personalization. 8" x 8" 14 Count.

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Aunty Acid Great Man Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

(1 review)
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Aunty Acid Mirrors Don't Lie Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for some they don't laugh either". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Aunty Acid Morning Person Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "I could definitely be a morning person if morning started at noon". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Aunty Acid Other Personalities Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "I wish one of my other personalities loved to clean". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Be Flexible - Cross Stitch Pattern by Xs And Ohs
"If you're flexible, you'll never get bent out of shape." Model stitched on 28 ct Peach cloud by Fabric flair using DMC floss. Stitch count 128x116.

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Both Wrong - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Can't Adult - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I Can't Adult Today". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Candy - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Cape And Tiara - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world." Complete kit includes 28 ct orange linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

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Cat Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
Cat lovers will understand this one - "Cat Hair....Just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool jobelan with Weeks Dye Works and Rainbow Gallery Wisper (W61). DMC alternates are 310 318 3733 782 3799. Stitch Count: 87W x 72H.

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Country Wise - Cross Stitch Pattern by Prairie Schooler
Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch count: "Plan Ahead" - 157W x 38H; "Keep it Simple" - 160W x 38H; "Measure Twice" - 113W x 70H; "The Witch is In" - 59W x 41H. Book #130

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Creative - Cross Stitch Pattern by AuryTm
"God would not have made me this creative if She wanted me to clean." Model stitched on 30 ct. Creme Brulee linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 161W x 201H.

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Cry A River - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Cry A River, Build A Bridge, Get Over It". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count black Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.

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Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.

(3 reviews)
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Eye Pod - Cross Stitch Pattern by Raise The Roof Designs
Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ember Cashel linen from Picture This Plus with DMC floss and Weeks Dye Works (Dolphin). Stitch Count: 128W x 79H.

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Favorite Drink - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "My Favorite Drink Is The Next One". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Frog Parking - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
This cross stitch kit features frogs and the humorous sentiment "Frog parking only - all others will be toad". This kit contains 14-count blue Aida fabric, pre-sorted six-strand 100% cotton floss, needle, graph and instructions. Design: Frog Parking: 7"x5".

(1 review)
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Gonna Be A Bear - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Gonna be a bear. In my next life I'm gonna be a bear. I get to sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate you gorge yourself. I could deal with that. When you are a girl bear, you give birth to your cubs in your sleep who are the size of walnuts. When you wake up they are cute and cuddly. I could deal with that. When you are a mamma bear everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers you or your cubs. If the cubs bother you, you swat them, too. I could deal with that. If you're a bear your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat. I could deal with that. Yup, gonna be a bear." Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss. Stitch count: 254W x 443H.

(1 review)
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Grits - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Kiss My Grits". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Group Therapy - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
This cross stitch kit features drinks and the sentiment "Group Therapy". This kit contains 14-count black Aida fabric, pre-sorted six-strand 100% cotton floss, needle, graph and instructions. Design: Group Therapy: 5"x7".

(1 review)
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Grumpy - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Sometimes I wake up grumpy, sometimes I let him sleep in". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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Hell - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Hell Is Other People". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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How Do You Take Your Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"How do you take your coffee? Seriously, very seriously." Stitch Count: 100W x66H. Model stitched on 32 ct Antique white Jobelan using Gentle Art Simply wool, Caron Waterlilies & DMC.

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I Barely Survived - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I barely survived yesterday and it's already today!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and a Just Another Button Company button. Stitch Count: 85W x 53H.

(1 review)
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Iced Tea - Cross Stitch Pattern by Midnight Stitching
Model stitched on 28ct jazz cashel using DMC, Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works & Kreinik #4 braid. Stitch count 82x73.

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Inner Tube - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"Success is just having one more patch than you have holes in your inner tube." Complete kit includes 28 ct pink linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

(1 review)
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Life's Journey - Cross Stitch Kit by Bobbie G Designs
"Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out, shouting Holy Cow what a ride - unknown." Kit includes 14 Ct. White Aida, thread, needle, chart, instructions, and color key. Finished size is 6" x 10.5".

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Life's Journey - Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
"Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting holy cow what a ride".
Model stitched on 14 count White Aida with DMC floss.
The stitch count is 84W x 144H.

(1 review)
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LMAO - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous phrase "LMAO". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Morning Dog - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Do I look like a morning person". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7"

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Not My Monkeys - Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
"Not my circus, not my monkeys." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 174x130. Designed by Ursula Michael.

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People Person - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I am so not a people person". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

(1 review)
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Retirement - Cross Stitch Pattern by Designs By Lisa
"Retirement - Feel the Joy!" was stitched on 28 Ct. Sky Blue Linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 63W x 72H.
"Can't Make Me, I'm Retired" was stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool linen with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Count:85x65.
(DMC alternates are 3045 977 445 3363 792 791 3802 3371 310)

(3 reviews)
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Right Shoes - Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
"I can do anything with the right shoes." Model stitched on 14ct white cloth using DMC floss. Stitch count 141x44. Four crystal Rhinestones are included with pattern.

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Shoes - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Don't get mad, get new shoes". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Silent Treatment - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "My brain is giving me the silent treatment today". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count black Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Stitch For Wine - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Will Stitch For Wine". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Symbols - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features a humorous sentiment. This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Twice Curse Doom & Gloom - Cross Stitch Pattern by Ink Circles
Models stitched on 32 Ct. Storm hand-dyed linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC 815, 3746, 3774, 3836, 746, 645,730). Stitch Count: 59W x 58H each. Comes with wool felt pieces for trim.

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Welcome to My Interpretation of Clean - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Welcome to my interpretation of clean." Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with DMC floss, DMC Color Variations floss, and Mill Hill beads. Stitch Count: 108W x 64H.

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Welcome to the Nuthouse - Cross Stitch Pattern by Waxing Moon Designs
A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Model was stitched on 28 ct Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads (DMC alternates available).

(2 reviews)
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Who Ate My Ice Cream? - Cross Stitch Pattern by Vickery Collection
Model stitched on 16 Ct. white Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count 169x107

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Women are Angels - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
"Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly.. on our broomsticks. We're flexible like that!" Model stitched on 14/28 count Antique White Lugana using Sullivan's floss. DMC conversions available. Stitch count: 125W x 97H.

(1 review)
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Work - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous office sentiment "Work fascinates me... I can sit and look at it for hours". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

(1 review)
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Wrong Way - Cross Stitch Pattern by Xs And Ohs
Model stitched on 28 Ct. hand dyed Twilight Mist Jobelan with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 64W x 148H.

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