Humorous - Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits


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Cat Bad Hair Day - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Welcome bad hair day - it's only one day, not the rest of your life."
Model stitched on 32 Ct. White Linen using DMC floss, Caron Waterlilies, Kreinik #4 Braid, Mill Hill Beads & Rainbow Gallery treasure braid PB33.
Stitch Count: 110W x 154H.

(1 review)
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Cat Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
Cat lovers will understand this one - "Cat Hair....Just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool jobelan with Weeks Dye Works and Rainbow Gallery Wisper (W61). DMC alternates are 310 318 3733 782 3799. Stitch Count: 87W x 72H.

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Cats, The - Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Model stitched on 18ct. White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 141w x 162h.

(1 review)
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Country Wise - Cross Stitch Pattern by Prairie Schooler
Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch count: "Plan Ahead" - 157W x 38H; "Keep it Simple" - 160W x 38H; "Measure Twice" - 113W x 70H; "The Witch is In" - 59W x 41H. Book #130

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Cross Stitchers are X Rated - Cross Stitch Pattern by Tiny Modernist
"Cross-Stitchers are X-rated." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 97W x 67H. Color Chart.

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Dad's Good Advice - Cross Stitch Pattern by Brooke's Books Publishing
"Dad always said 'Follow your heart but take your brain with you.'"
Model stitched on white or ivory fabric using DMC floss.
Stitch count 125x84.

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Death by Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Death by Chocolate - What a Way to Go!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Star Sapphire Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch Count: 87W x 58H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.

(1 review)
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Don't Rush Me - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous office sentiment "Don't rush me, I'm making mistakes as fast as I can". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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Don't Worry Spiders - Cross Stitch Pattern by Moira Blackburn Samplers
"Don't worry spiders, I clean house casually." Model stitched on fabric of your choice with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 91W x 150H.

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Dust Bunnies - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "The dust bunnies killed my cleaning fairy". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Eye Pod - Cross Stitch Pattern by Raise The Roof Designs
Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ember Cashel linen from Picture This Plus with DMC floss and Weeks Dye Works (Dolphin). Stitch Count: 128W x 79H.

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Favorite Drink - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "My Favorite Drink Is The Next One". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Gonna Be A Bear - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Gonna be a bear. In my next life I'm gonna be a bear. I get to sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate you gorge yourself. I could deal with that. When you are a girl bear, you give birth to your cubs in your sleep who are the size of walnuts. When you wake up they are cute and cuddly. I could deal with that. When you are a mamma bear everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers you or your cubs. If the cubs bother you, you swat them, too. I could deal with that. If you're a bear your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat. I could deal with that. Yup, gonna be a bear." Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss. Stitch count: 254W x 443H.

(1 review)
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Grits - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Kiss My Grits". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Grumpy - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Sometimes I wake up grumpy, sometimes I let him sleep in". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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Hell - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Hell Is Other People". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Housework Makes You Ugly - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sisters & Best Friends
Model stitched on 19 Ct. yellow Cork linen using 4 strands of Gentle Arts Sampler Threads over 2 threads. Stitch count: 100w x 111h.

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Husband in this House - Cross Stitch Pattern by Tiny Modernist
"The opinions expressed by the husband in this house are not necessarily those of the management." Model stitched on 14 Ct. white aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 81W x 107H. Color chart.

(2 reviews)
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I Have Issues - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
"I have issues". Model #1 stitched on 30 Ct. Sophie's Pink linen by Weeks Dye Works with Gentle Arts Sampler thread Geranium (or DMC 600)and embellished with buttons. Stitch Count: 58x25. Model #2 stitched on 14 Ct. White Aidsa with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works, and Kreinik #8 braid (or all DMC 600, 907, 604, 701, 907). Stitch Count: 59x47.

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I Run With Scissors - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Model stitched on 20 Ct. Peoria Purple by Weeks Dye Works with DMC floss and Kreinik #8 Braid. Stitch Count: 62W x 100H.

(1 review)
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Iced Tea - Cross Stitch Pattern by Midnight Stitching
Model stitched on 28ct jazz cashel using DMC, Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works & Kreinik #4 braid. Stitch count 82x73.

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Inner Tube - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"Success is just having one more patch than you have holes in your inner tube." Complete kit includes 28 ct pink linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

(1 review)
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LMAO - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous phrase "LMAO". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Lost It! - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I think I've lost my mind - maybe it's with my car keys!!!" Model stitched on 28 count Cream Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 55W x 61H.

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Marshmallow Happiness - Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows which are kinda the same thing!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan using Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 176W x 70H

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Not Thinking Before I Speak - Little Chuckles by MarNic Designs
"I don't like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth." Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with DMC floss and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 147W x 129H

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Retirement Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
"Retirement is a Full Time Job" is stitched on 28 count Country French Latte Linen with a stitch count of 54W x 72H. "Welcome to the Rest of Your Life" is stitched on 28 count Sand Quaker with a stitch count of 80W x 68H. "World's Longest Coffee Break" is stitched on 32 count Lambswool Linen with a stitch count of 69W x 68H. Models use Gentle Arts Sampler Threads and Weeks Dye Works. (DMC alternates are 931 729 347 3823 3362 930)

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Right Shoes - Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
"I can do anything with the right shoes." Model stitched on 14ct white cloth using DMC floss. Stitch count 141x44. Four crystal Rhinestones are included with pattern.

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Rule the World - Cross Stitch Pattern by Angel Stitchin
"Given enough coffee, I could rule the world!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Milk Chocolate Linen with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 81W x 51H. Comes with 3 coffee bean buttons.

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Safari Friends - Cross Stitch Pattern by Stoney Creek
"Big or small, short or tall, don't forget God loves us all." "Everybody needs someone to look up to." "God hears our softest prayer...even if it's a little buzz." "Everyone smiles in the same language". "Love is the only thing you get more of by giving it away." "Listen...you can hear better that way." "Friendship lifts you up when the world lets you down." "I hear yea's better than nay's." "Gold's love tucks me in and keeps me warm." "If you want a friend, you must be a friend." "Those who know God smile." "The only race to be concerned about is the human race." All models stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with Anchor or DMC floss. Finished sizes are approximately 4 1/4" x 6".

(2 reviews)
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Shoes - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Don't get mad, get new shoes". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Silent Treatment - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "My brain is giving me the silent treatment today". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count black Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Snowman Kit - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
What do you need to build a snowman? A warm hat, scarf, and mittens, a carrot nose, pipe, coal....oh and of course, plenty of snow! Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana. Stitch Count: 94W x 121H. Includes snowflake charm.

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Speak My Mind - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I Speak My Mind Because It Hurts To Bite My Tongue". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Spooning - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Spooning Leads To Forking". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Stitch For Wine - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Will Stitch For Wine". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Symbols - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features a humorous sentiment. This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Tasting Your Words - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Try Tasting Your Words Before Spitting Them Out". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Tequila & Salt - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sunflower Seed
Stitched on 18 count Lemon Drop Linen with DMC floss, Weeks Dye Works, DMC and buttons from Just Another Button Company. The stitch count is 75W x 100H.

(1 review)
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Tis Halloween - Cross Stitch Pattern by Plum Street Samplers
Model stitched on 36 Ct. Autumn Gold from Lakeside Linens using one strand of silk floss over 2 threads. Stitch Count: 129W x 74H. Threads used - Crescent Colours Belle Soie Silks. DMC equivalents are 154 310 400 612 3051 3776 ecru.

(2 reviews)
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Update Your Status - Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
"May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 145W x 97H.

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Water Essential - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Water is the most essential element of life, without it u can't make coffee." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Beige Jobelan with Caron Collection Waterlilies and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 121W x 103H

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Wear A Smile - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
Model stitched on 32 Ct. Hand Dyed African Daisy Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works. DMC equivalents are 798 3777 3347. Stitch Count: 58W x 50H. Button from Just Another button company sold separately.

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Web Of Stash - Cross Stitch Pattern by Glendon Place
"Eek! I am caught in a web of stash and I can't stitch out!" Model stitched on 28 count Flash Cashel Linen from Picture This Plus with Weeks Dye Works and Kreinik #4 Braid. The stitch count is 108W x 68H.

(3 reviews)
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Welcome to My Interpretation of Clean - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Welcome to my interpretation of clean." Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with DMC floss, DMC Color Variations floss, and Mill Hill beads. Stitch Count: 108W x 64H.

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Welcome to the Nuthouse - Cross Stitch Pattern by Waxing Moon Designs
A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Model was stitched on 28 ct Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads (DMC alternates available).

(2 reviews)
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Whooo Fired the Maid - Cross Stitch Pattern by Charlette's Collectibles
"Whooo Fired the Maid?"
"Because I Said So."
Model stitched on 14 Ct. Fiddlers light using DMC floss.
Stitch count 74x102

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Work - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous office sentiment "Work fascinates me... I can sit and look at it for hours". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

(1 review)
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Wrinkles (w/buttons) - Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchworks
"Wrinkles indicate where smiles have been." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Buttermilk linen or 28 Ct. African Daisy linen with DMC floss, Mill Hill Beads, and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 118W x 40H. Comes with star buttons.

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Wrong Way - Cross Stitch Pattern by Xs And Ohs
Model stitched on 28 Ct. hand dyed Twilight Mist Jobelan with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 64W x 148H.

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