Humorous - Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits


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Buttercup - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Suck it up Buttercup". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

(1 review)
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Candy - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Cat Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
Cat lovers will understand this one - "Cat Hair....Just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool jobelan with Weeks Dye Works and Rainbow Gallery Wisper (W61). DMC alternates are 310 318 3733 782 3799. Stitch Count: 87W x 72H.

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Cats, The - Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Model stitched on 18ct. White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 141w x 162h.

(1 review)
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Country Wise - Cross Stitch Pattern by Prairie Schooler
Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch count: "Plan Ahead" - 157W x 38H; "Keep it Simple" - 160W x 38H; "Measure Twice" - 113W x 70H; "The Witch is In" - 59W x 41H. Book #130

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Creative - Cross Stitch Pattern by AuryTm
"God would not have made me this creative if She wanted me to clean." Model stitched on 30 ct. Creme Brulee linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 161W x 201H.

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Cross Stitchers are X Rated - Cross Stitch Pattern by Tiny Modernist
"Cross-Stitchers are X-rated." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 97W x 67H. Color Chart.

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Cry A River - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Cry A River, Build A Bridge, Get Over It". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count black Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Dad's Good Advice - Cross Stitch Pattern by Brooke's Books Publishing
"Dad always said 'Follow your heart but take your brain with you.'"
Model stitched on white or ivory fabric using DMC floss.
Stitch count 125x84.

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Death by Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Death by Chocolate - What a Way to Go!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Star Sapphire Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch Count: 87W x 58H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.

(1 review)
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Did you Ever Stop to Think Giggle Boxer - Cross Stitch Kit by Lizzie Kate
"Did you ever stop to think & forget to start again?" Kit includes 27 Ct. Cream Northern Cross Linen, 3 tiny red buttons, chart, and needle. Also required, but not included in the kit: Gentle Art Sampler Threads and Weeks Dye Works floss. Finished size is about 3 1/2" x 7 3/4".

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Don't Rush Me - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous office sentiment "Don't rush me, I'm making mistakes as fast as I can". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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Don't Worry Spiders - Cross Stitch Pattern by Moira Blackburn Samplers
"Don't worry spiders, I clean house casually." Model stitched on fabric of your choice with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 91W x 150H.

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Dust Bunnies - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "The dust bunnies killed my cleaning fairy". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Eye Pod - Cross Stitch Pattern by Raise The Roof Designs
Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ember Cashel linen from Picture This Plus with DMC floss and Weeks Dye Works (Dolphin). Stitch Count: 128W x 79H.

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Favorite Drink - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "My Favorite Drink Is The Next One". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Full Glass - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "The glass is always full - 1 half air plus 1 half water". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Grits - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Kiss My Grits". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Group Therapy - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
This cross stitch kit features drinks and the sentiment "Group Therapy". This kit contains 14-count black Aida fabric, pre-sorted six-strand 100% cotton floss, needle, graph and instructions. Design: Group Therapy: 5"x7".

(1 review)
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Grumpy - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Sometimes I wake up grumpy, sometimes I let him sleep in". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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Hell - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Hell Is Other People". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Housework Makes You Ugly - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sisters & Best Friends
Model stitched on 19 Ct. yellow Cork linen using 4 strands of Gentle Arts Sampler Threads over 2 threads. Stitch count: 100w x 111h.

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Husband in this House - Cross Stitch Pattern by Tiny Modernist
"The opinions expressed by the husband in this house are not necessarily those of the management." Model stitched on 14 Ct. white aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 81W x 107H. Color chart.

(2 reviews)
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I Have Issues - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
"I have issues". Model #1 stitched on 30 Ct. Sophie's Pink linen by Weeks Dye Works with Gentle Arts Sampler thread Geranium (or DMC 600)and embellished with buttons. Stitch Count: 58x25. Model #2 stitched on 14 Ct. White Aidsa with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works, and Kreinik #8 braid (or all DMC 600, 907, 604, 701, 907). Stitch Count: 59x47.

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I Run With Scissors - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Model stitched on 20 Ct. Peoria Purple by Weeks Dye Works with DMC floss and Kreinik #8 Braid. Stitch Count: 62W x 100H.

(1 review)
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Iced Tea - Cross Stitch Pattern by Midnight Stitching
Model stitched on 28ct jazz cashel using DMC, Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works & Kreinik #4 braid. Stitch count 82x73.

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Inner Tube - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"Success is just having one more patch than you have holes in your inner tube." Complete kit includes 28 ct pink linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

(1 review)
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LMAO - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous phrase "LMAO". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Lost It! - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I think I've lost my mind - maybe it's with my car keys!!!" Model stitched on 28 count Cream Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 55W x 61H.

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Make an Appointment - Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
"If you have come to see me, Welcome. If you have come to see my house, make an appointment."
Model was stitched on 14 ct Ivory Aida using DMC floss.
Stitch Count: 58W x 135H

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Marshmallow Happiness - Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows which are kinda the same thing!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan using Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 176W x 70H

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Mess Stitch Wit - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
"Sorry about the mess, but we live here" - This witty sentiment sums up what makes a house a home. The Mess Stitch Wit by Dimensions is a fun and easy counted cross stitch project. Stitch and finish in the included hoop. Finished size: 6" diameter. This counted cross stitch kit includes: Cotton thread, 14 count ivory Aida, 6" plastic hoop, Needle, Easy instructions.

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Morning Dog - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Do I look like a morning person". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7"

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Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.

(1 review)
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Not Snarky - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I'm Not Snarky, I'm Selectively Polite". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Our Family Tree - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Our family tree has deep roots and lots of nuts." Model was stitched on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan from Wichelt using Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count: 85W x 53H.

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People Person - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I am so not a people person". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Retirement - Cross Stitch Pattern by Designs By Lisa
"Retirement - Feel the Joy!" was stitched on 28 Ct. Sky Blue Linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 63W x 72H.
"Can't Make Me, I'm Retired" was stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool linen with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Count:85x65.
(DMC alternates are 3045 977 445 3363 792 791 3802 3371 310)

(3 reviews)
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Rule the World - Cross Stitch Pattern by Angel Stitchin
"Given enough coffee, I could rule the world!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Milk Chocolate Linen with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 81W x 51H. Comes with 3 coffee bean buttons.

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Safari Friends - Cross Stitch Pattern by Stoney Creek
"Big or small, short or tall, don't forget God loves us all." "Everybody needs someone to look up to." "God hears our softest prayer...even if it's a little buzz." "Everyone smiles in the same language". "Love is the only thing you get more of by giving it away." "Listen...you can hear better that way." "Friendship lifts you up when the world lets you down." "I hear yea's better than nay's." "Gold's love tucks me in and keeps me warm." "If you want a friend, you must be a friend." "Those who know God smile." "The only race to be concerned about is the human race." All models stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with Anchor or DMC floss. Finished sizes are approximately 4 1/4" x 6".

(2 reviews)
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Shut Your Lid - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Shut Your Lid and Can It". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Silent Treatment - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "My brain is giving me the silent treatment today". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count black Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Snowman Kit - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
What do you need to build a snowman? A warm hat, scarf, and mittens, a carrot nose, pipe, coal....oh and of course, plenty of snow! Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana. Stitch Count: 94W x 121H. Includes snowflake charm.

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Speak My Mind - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I Speak My Mind Because It Hurts To Bite My Tongue". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Spooning - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Spooning Leads To Forking". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Symbols - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features a humorous sentiment. This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Tasting Your Words - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Try Tasting Your Words Before Spitting Them Out". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Troubled Water - Cross Stitch Pattern by Ink Circles
The first in a "Bad Neighborhoods" series - featuring dead fish floating in the water! Model stitched on 30 Ct. Beige linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC 3013, 3328, 3854, 3835, 3773, 746, 801, 3363, 932, 612). Stitch Count: 71x81.

(2 reviews)
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Twice Curse Doom & Gloom - Cross Stitch Pattern by Ink Circles
Models stitched on 32 Ct. Storm hand-dyed linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC 815, 3746, 3774, 3836, 746, 645,730). Stitch Count: 59W x 58H each. Comes with wool felt pieces for trim.

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Update Your Status - Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
"May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works and DMC floss. Stitch Count: 145W x 97H.

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