Humorous - Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits


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Full Glass - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "The glass is always full - 1 half air plus 1 half water". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Group Therapy - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
This cross stitch kit features drinks and the sentiment "Group Therapy". This kit contains 14-count black Aida fabric, pre-sorted six-strand 100% cotton floss, needle, graph and instructions. Design: Group Therapy: 5"x7".

(1 review)
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Not Snarky - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I'm Not Snarky, I'm Selectively Polite". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Packed Up Her Potential - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"She packed up her potential and all that she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things." Complete kit includes 28 ct white linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

(1 review)
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Sweet and Salty - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Model stitched on 30 count Chartreuse linen by Weeks Dye Works using DMC, Crescent Colours. Stitch count: 32W x 46H. Optional designer used some red glass beads for sparkle on the cherry and also 1 white bead for the highlight on the cherry.

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Troubled Water - Cross Stitch Pattern by Ink Circles
The first in a "Bad Neighborhoods" series - featuring dead fish floating in the water! Model stitched on 30 Ct. Beige linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC 3013, 3328, 3854, 3835, 3773, 746, 801, 3363, 932, 612). Stitch Count: 71x81.

(2 reviews)
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WTF (Where's The Food) - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "WTF (Where's The Food)". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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A Very Faint Line - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"The line is very faint between hobby and mental illness." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ivory Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and Just Another Button Company buttons (4483S, 1171S, 3361, 3369M, 3387). Stitch Count: 48W x 83H.

(2 reviews)
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All About Me - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.

(3 reviews)
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As If - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "As If". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Aunty Acid Taste Your Words Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "Remember: be sure to taste your words before you spit them out". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Bad Word - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Framed model stitched over 2 threads on 20 Ct. Peoria Purple linen with Weeks Dye Works floss, apple green bugle beads and tiny brads or buttons. Stitch Count: 59x19. Green pillow stitched over 2 threads on 30 Ct. Chartreuse Green linen with Kreinik #8 Braid. Stitch Count: 59x19. White pillow stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss (907). Stitch Count: 60x23

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Bathing Beauties - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
This Cross Stitch Kit comes complete with 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, Beads, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 12" x 12".

(3 reviews)
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Be Flexible - Cross Stitch Pattern by Xs And Ohs
"If you're flexible, you'll never get bent out of shape." Model stitched on 28 ct Peach cloud by Fabric flair using DMC floss. Stitch count 128x116.

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Blah Blah Blah - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Model stitched on 20 count light orange rust lugana using Weeks Dye Works Pearl Cotton #5. Stitch count: 71W x 13H.

(1 review)
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Both Wrong - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Cat Bad Hair Day - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Welcome bad hair day - it's only one day, not the rest of your life."
Model stitched on 32 Ct. White Linen using DMC floss, Caron Waterlilies, Kreinik #4 Braid, Mill Hill Beads & Rainbow Gallery treasure braid PB33.
Stitch Count: 110W x 154H.

(1 review)
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Cats, The - Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Model stitched on 18ct. White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 141w x 162h.

(1 review)
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Creative - Cross Stitch Pattern by AuryTm
"God would not have made me this creative if She wanted me to clean." Model stitched on 30 ct. Creme Brulee linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 161W x 201H.

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Cross Stitchers are X Rated - Cross Stitch Pattern by Tiny Modernist
"Cross-Stitchers are X-rated." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 97W x 67H. Color Chart.

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Cry A River - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Cry A River, Build A Bridge, Get Over It". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count black Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Dad's Good Advice - Cross Stitch Pattern by Brooke's Books Publishing
"Dad always said 'Follow your heart but take your brain with you.'"
Model stitched on white or ivory fabric using DMC floss.
Stitch count 125x84.

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Did you Ever Stop to Think Giggle Boxer - Cross Stitch Kit by Lizzie Kate
"Did you ever stop to think & forget to start again?" Kit includes 27 Ct. Cream Northern Cross Linen, 3 tiny red buttons, chart, and needle. Also required, but not included in the kit: Gentle Art Sampler Threads and Weeks Dye Works floss. Finished size is about 3 1/2" x 7 3/4".

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Don't Worry Spiders - Cross Stitch Pattern by Moira Blackburn Samplers
"Don't worry spiders, I clean house casually." Model stitched on fabric of your choice with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 91W x 150H.

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Eye Pod - Cross Stitch Pattern by Raise The Roof Designs
Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ember Cashel linen from Picture This Plus with DMC floss and Weeks Dye Works (Dolphin). Stitch Count: 128W x 79H.

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Favorite Drink - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "My Favorite Drink Is The Next One". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Golden Rules - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Golden Rules - I'm sorry, I need help, I don't know, I was wrong." Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Caron Collection Waterlilies, DMC floss, Gentle Art Sampler threads, and Mill Hill beads. Stitch Count: 122W x 100H.

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Grits - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Kiss My Grits". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Grumpy - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Sometimes I wake up grumpy, sometimes I let him sleep in". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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Hell - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Hell Is Other People". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Housework Makes You Ugly - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sisters & Best Friends
Model stitched on 19 Ct. yellow Cork linen using 4 strands of Gentle Arts Sampler Threads over 2 threads. Stitch count: 100w x 111h.

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How Do You Take Your Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"How do you take your coffee? Seriously, very seriously." Stitch Count: 100W x66H. Model stitched on 32 ct Antique white Jobelan using Gentle Art Simply wool, Caron Waterlilies & DMC.

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Husband in this House - Cross Stitch Pattern by Tiny Modernist
"The opinions expressed by the husband in this house are not necessarily those of the management." Model stitched on 14 Ct. white aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 81W x 107H. Color chart.

(2 reviews)
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I Have Issues - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
"I have issues". Model #1 stitched on 30 Ct. Sophie's Pink linen by Weeks Dye Works with Gentle Arts Sampler thread Geranium (or DMC 600)and embellished with buttons. Stitch Count: 58x25. Model #2 stitched on 14 Ct. White Aidsa with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works, and Kreinik #8 braid (or all DMC 600, 907, 604, 701, 907). Stitch Count: 59x47.

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I Run With Scissors - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Model stitched on 20 Ct. Peoria Purple by Weeks Dye Works with DMC floss and Kreinik #8 Braid. Stitch Count: 62W x 100H.

(1 review)
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Inner Tube - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"Success is just having one more patch than you have holes in your inner tube." Complete kit includes 28 ct pink linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

(1 review)
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LMAO - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous phrase "LMAO". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Make an Appointment - Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
"If you have come to see me, Welcome. If you have come to see my house, make an appointment."
Model was stitched on 14 ct Ivory Aida using DMC floss.
Stitch Count: 58W x 135H

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Marshmallow Happiness - Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows which are kinda the same thing!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan using Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 176W x 70H

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Monday Morning Motto - Cross Stitch Pattern by Designs By Lisa
"I'll rise but I won't shine!"
Model stitched on 28 count hand-dyed Thyme Jobelan using Gentle Art Sampler Threads. DMC conversions are 676 310 420 347 221 869 742 520.
Stitch count: 56W x 84H.

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Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.

(1 review)
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Not Thinking Before I Speak - Little Chuckles by MarNic Designs
"I don't like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth." Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with DMC floss and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 147W x 129H

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OMG Mom - Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
"OMG my mother was right about everything." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Morning Dew Jobelan with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 95x102.

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People Person - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I am so not a people person". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Retirement - Cross Stitch Pattern by Designs By Lisa
"Retirement - Feel the Joy!" was stitched on 28 Ct. Sky Blue Linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 63W x 72H.
"Can't Make Me, I'm Retired" was stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool linen with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Count:85x65.
(DMC alternates are 3045 977 445 3363 792 791 3802 3371 310)

(3 reviews)
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Rule the World - Cross Stitch Pattern by Angel Stitchin
"Given enough coffee, I could rule the world!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Milk Chocolate Linen with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 81W x 51H. Comes with 3 coffee bean buttons.

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Safari Friends - Cross Stitch Pattern by Stoney Creek
"Big or small, short or tall, don't forget God loves us all." "Everybody needs someone to look up to." "God hears our softest prayer...even if it's a little buzz." "Everyone smiles in the same language". "Love is the only thing you get more of by giving it away." "Listen...you can hear better that way." "Friendship lifts you up when the world lets you down." "I hear yea's better than nay's." "Gold's love tucks me in and keeps me warm." "If you want a friend, you must be a friend." "Those who know God smile." "The only race to be concerned about is the human race." All models stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with Anchor or DMC floss. Finished sizes are approximately 4 1/4" x 6".

(2 reviews)
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Shoes - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Don't get mad, get new shoes". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Shut Your Lid - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Shut Your Lid and Can It". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Speak My Mind - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I Speak My Mind Because It Hurts To Bite My Tongue". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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