Humorous - Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits


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Aunty Acid Other Personalities Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "I wish one of my other personalities loved to clean". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Birthday Party (Laura's Thimbles) - Cross Stitch Pattern by AuryTm
Model is stitched on 28 count Stormy Gray Cashel using Crescent Colours threads. Stitch count: 121W x 24H.

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Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H.

(2 reviews)
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Frog Parking - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
This cross stitch kit features frogs and the humorous sentiment "Frog parking only - all others will be toad". This kit contains 14-count blue Aida fabric, pre-sorted six-strand 100% cotton floss, needle, graph and instructions. Design: Frog Parking: 7"x5".

(1 review)
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I Barely Survived - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I barely survived yesterday and it's already today!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and a Just Another Button Company button. Stitch Count: 85W x 53H.

(1 review)
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A Very Faint Line - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"The line is very faint between hobby and mental illness." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ivory Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and Just Another Button Company buttons (4483S, 1171S, 3361, 3369M, 3387). Stitch Count: 48W x 83H.

(2 reviews)
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Ashes - Cross Stitch Pattern by Turquoise Graphics and Designs
"Ashes of difficult patterns." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Twilight Mist Jobelan with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC floss 3852, 209, 927, 535, 169, 433, 3012, 3740, 930, 932, 612, 3823, 610, 3740, 642, 939, 844, 935, 932, 831). Stitch Count: 64W x 115H.

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Aunty Acid Mirrors Don't Lie Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for some they don't laugh either". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Aunty Acid Morning Person Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "I could definitely be a morning person if morning started at noon". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Group Therapy - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
This cross stitch kit features drinks and the sentiment "Group Therapy". This kit contains 14-count black Aida fabric, pre-sorted six-strand 100% cotton floss, needle, graph and instructions. Design: Group Therapy: 5"x7".

(1 review)
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Packed Up Her Potential - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"She packed up her potential and all that she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things." Complete kit includes 28 ct white linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

(1 review)
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Silent Treatment - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "My brain is giving me the silent treatment today". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count black Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Sweet and Salty - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Model stitched on 30 count Chartreuse linen by Weeks Dye Works using DMC, Crescent Colours. Stitch count: 32W x 46H. Optional designer used some red glass beads for sparkle on the cherry and also 1 white bead for the highlight on the cherry.

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Welcome to the Nuthouse - Cross Stitch Pattern by Waxing Moon Designs
A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Model was stitched on 28 ct Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads (DMC alternates available).

(2 reviews)
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All About Me - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.

(3 reviews)
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Aunty Acid Crazy Crafter Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "I run with scissors, I gallop with glue, I'm a crazy crafter, how 'bout you?". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Aunty Acid Taste Your Words Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "Remember: be sure to taste your words before you spit them out". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Bad Word - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Framed model stitched over 2 threads on 20 Ct. Peoria Purple linen with Weeks Dye Works floss, apple green bugle beads and tiny brads or buttons. Stitch Count: 59x19. Green pillow stitched over 2 threads on 30 Ct. Chartreuse Green linen with Kreinik #8 Braid. Stitch Count: 59x19. White pillow stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss (907). Stitch Count: 60x23

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Be Flexible - Cross Stitch Pattern by Xs And Ohs
"If you're flexible, you'll never get bent out of shape." Model stitched on 28 ct Peach cloud by Fabric flair using DMC floss. Stitch count 128x116.

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Cake Required - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"A great many things can be resolved with kindness. Even more with laughter, but there are some things that just require cake." Complete kit includes 28 ct green linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

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Cape And Tiara - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world." Complete kit includes 28 ct orange linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

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Cat Bad Hair Day - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Welcome bad hair day - it's only one day, not the rest of your life."
Model stitched on 32 Ct. White Linen using DMC floss, Caron Waterlilies, Kreinik #4 Braid, Mill Hill Beads & Rainbow Gallery treasure braid PB33.
Stitch Count: 110W x 154H.

(1 review)
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Cat Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
Cat lovers will understand this one - "Cat Hair....Just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool jobelan with Weeks Dye Works and Rainbow Gallery Wisper (W61). DMC alternates are 310 318 3733 782 3799. Stitch Count: 87W x 72H.

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Cats, The - Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Model stitched on 18ct. White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 141w x 162h.

(1 review)
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Country Wise - Cross Stitch Pattern by Prairie Schooler
Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch count: "Plan Ahead" - 157W x 38H; "Keep it Simple" - 160W x 38H; "Measure Twice" - 113W x 70H; "The Witch is In" - 59W x 41H. Book #130

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Creative - Cross Stitch Pattern by AuryTm
"God would not have made me this creative if She wanted me to clean." Model stitched on 30 ct. Creme Brulee linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 161W x 201H.

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Cross Stitchers are X Rated - Cross Stitch Pattern by Tiny Modernist
"Cross-Stitchers are X-rated." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 97W x 67H. Color Chart.

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Cry A River - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "Cry A River, Build A Bridge, Get Over It". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count black Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Dad's Good Advice - Cross Stitch Pattern by Brooke's Books Publishing
"Dad always said 'Follow your heart but take your brain with you.'"
Model stitched on white or ivory fabric using DMC floss.
Stitch count 125x84.

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Death by Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Death by Chocolate - What a Way to Go!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Star Sapphire Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch Count: 87W x 58H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.

(1 review)
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Did you Ever Stop to Think Giggle Boxer - Cross Stitch Kit by Lizzie Kate
"Did you ever stop to think & forget to start again?" Kit includes 27 Ct. Cream Northern Cross Linen, 3 tiny red buttons, chart, and needle. Also required, but not included in the kit: Gentle Art Sampler Threads and Weeks Dye Works floss. Finished size is about 3 1/2" x 7 3/4".

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Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.

(2 reviews)
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Don't Rush Me - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous office sentiment "Don't rush me, I'm making mistakes as fast as I can". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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Eye Pod - Cross Stitch Pattern by Raise The Roof Designs
Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ember Cashel linen from Picture This Plus with DMC floss and Weeks Dye Works (Dolphin). Stitch Count: 128W x 79H.

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Favorite Drink - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "My Favorite Drink Is The Next One". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Golden Rules - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Golden Rules - I'm sorry, I need help, I don't know, I was wrong." Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Caron Collection Waterlilies, DMC floss, Gentle Art Sampler threads, and Mill Hill beads. Stitch Count: 122W x 100H.

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Gonna Be A Bear - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"Gonna be a bear. In my next life I'm gonna be a bear. I get to sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate you gorge yourself. I could deal with that. When you are a girl bear, you give birth to your cubs in your sleep who are the size of walnuts. When you wake up they are cute and cuddly. I could deal with that. When you are a mamma bear everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers you or your cubs. If the cubs bother you, you swat them, too. I could deal with that. If you're a bear your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat. I could deal with that. Yup, gonna be a bear." Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss. Stitch count: 254W x 443H.

(1 review)
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Grumpy - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Sometimes I wake up grumpy, sometimes I let him sleep in". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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Hen Party - Cross Stitch Pattern by Little House Needleworks
Model stitched on 28ct. Creme Brulee using DMC & Crescent Colours. Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company. Stitch count: 82 x 54.

(1 review)
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Housework Makes You Ugly - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sisters & Best Friends
Model stitched on 19 Ct. yellow Cork linen using 4 strands of Gentle Arts Sampler Threads over 2 threads. Stitch count: 100w x 111h.

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How Do You Take Your Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"How do you take your coffee? Seriously, very seriously." Stitch Count: 100W x66H. Model stitched on 32 ct Antique white Jobelan using Gentle Art Simply wool, Caron Waterlilies & DMC.

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Husband in his House - Cross Stitch Pattern by Tiny Modernist
"The opinions expressed by the husband in this house are not necessarily those of the managenment." Model stitched on 14 Ct. white aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 81W x 107H. Color chart.

(2 reviews)
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I Have Issues - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
"I have issues". Model #1 stitched on 30 Ct. Sophie's Pink linen by Weeks Dye Works with Gentle Arts Sampler thread Geranium (or DMC 600)and embellished with buttons. Stitch Count: 58x25. Model #2 stitched on 14 Ct. White Aidsa with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works, and Kreinik #8 braid (or all DMC 600, 907, 604, 701, 907). Stitch Count: 59x47.

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I Run With Scissors - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Model stitched on 20 Ct. Peoria Purple by Weeks Dye Works with DMC floss and Kreinik #8 Braid. Stitch Count: 62W x 100H.

(1 review)
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Inner Tube - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"Success is just having one more patch than you have holes in your inner tube." Complete kit includes 28 ct pink linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

(1 review)
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Is It Too Late? - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H. (DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310)

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Keep Calm and Eat Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern by Fallbrook House Needleplay
Model stitched on 14 Ct. Black Chocolate using DMC floss. Stitch Count: 115W x 115H

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Lost It! - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I think I've lost my mind - maybe it's with my car keys!!!" Model stitched on 28 count Cream Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 55W x 61H.

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Make an Appointment - Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
"If you have come to see me, Welcome. If you have come to see my house, make an appointment."
Model was stitched on 14 ct Ivory Aida using DMC floss.
Stitch Count: 58W x 135H

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Marshmallow Happiness - Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows which are kinda the same thing!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan using Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 176W x 70H

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