Humorous - Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits


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Irony (Laundry Company 3) - Cross Stitch Pattern by Hands On Design
"Irony - the opposite of wrinkly" Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. White Belfast linen with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 63x91

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No Epitaph Ever Said her House Was Not Clean by MarNic Designs
Stitch Count: 68W x 50H

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Hen Party - Cross Stitch Pattern by Little House Needleworks
Model stitched on 28ct. Creme Brulee using DMC & Crescent Colours. Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company. Stitch count: 82 x 54.

(1 review)
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Housework Never Killed Anyone - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
Model stitched on 32ct. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 109w x 45h. (DMC alternates are 3740 745 3052 937 3802 223)

(1 review)
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Don't Get Your Tinsel In A Tangle - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
Model stitched on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.

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Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.

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Wear A Smile - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
Model stitched on 32 Ct. Hand Dyed African Daisy Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works. DMC equivalents are 798 3777 3347. Stitch Count: 58W x 50H. Button from Just Another button company sold separately.

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Is It Too Late? - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H. (DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310)

(2 reviews)
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Early Bird - Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
"The early bird can have the worm 'cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid!" Framed model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Moonglow by Picture this Plus, using DMC floss & Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch count 70x121. Pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Banana Popsicle linen by Weeks Dye Works, using DMC Pearl #5 or Dinky Dye's Jumbuck. Stitch count 67x30. Pillow also uses a button pack from Just Another Button Company. (DMC LISTED FOR FRAMED PATTERN ONLY)

(1 review)
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Rose Colored Glasses - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
When the going gets tough, put on your Rose Colored Glasses! The cute bunny on this counted cross stitch design by Dimensions knows that those glasses can make the world seem like a better place. Finished size: 5" x 7". This cross stitch kit contains presorted thread, 14 count white Aida, needle, and instructions.

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Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.

(3 reviews)
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Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H.

(4 reviews)
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Retirement Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
"Retirement is a Full Time Job" is stitched on 28 count Country French Latte Linen with a stitch count of 54W x 72H. "Welcome to the Rest of Your Life" is stitched on 28 count Sand Quaker with a stitch count of 80W x 68H. "World's Longest Coffee Break" is stitched on 32 count Lambswool Linen with a stitch count of 69W x 68H. Models use Gentle Arts Sampler Threads and Weeks Dye Works. (DMC alternates are 931 729 347 3823 3362 930)

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Be a Flamingo - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Be a Flamingo by Dimensions is a light-hearted reminder that it's OK to stand out from the crowd. In this piece, the counted cross stitch design is worked on Aida printed with a watercolor background. Finished size: 5" x 7". This cross stitch kit contains presorted thread, printed 14 count white Aida, needle, and instructions.

(1 review)
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Warped Humor - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I have a warped sense of humor and I'm not afraid to use it." Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 95W x 63H.

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Morning Dog - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Featuring the humorous sentiment "Do I look like a morning person". This Counted Cross Stitch kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7"

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Wouldn't Life Be Great - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
"Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread, and DMC floss. Stitch count is 221W x 72H.

(1 review)
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Size Will Not Matter - Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"When I am old... size will not matter!" Model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Gentle Art Sampler threads and Rainbow Gallery Petite Treasure braids. Stitch count 84w x 47h

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Biker Babes - Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Model Stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 89W x 81H

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The Queen - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Features the humorous sentiment "We can't all be the Queen... someone has to sit on the curb and clap as I go by". This cross stitch kit comes complete with 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, Fully Illustrated Instructions. 5" x 7".

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More Than Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 126W x 98H.

(1 review)
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Can't Adult - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "I Can't Adult Today". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Dust Bunnies - Humorous Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
Features the humorous sentiment "The dust bunnies killed my cleaning fairy". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, thread, one needle, one 6 inch plastic hoop and easy to follow instructions. Finished size: 6 inches round.

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Mirrors Don't Lie- Aunty Acid- Cross Stitch Kit by Janlynn
Features the humorous sentiment "Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for some they don't laugh either". This cross stitch kit contains 14-count white Aida, cotton floss, floss card, needle, graph and instructions (mat and frame are not included).

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Frog Parking - Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
This cross stitch kit features frogs and the humorous sentiment "Frog parking only - all others will be toad". This kit contains 14-count blue Aida fabric, pre-sorted six-strand 100% cotton floss, needle, graph and instructions. Design: Frog Parking: 7"x5".

(1 review)
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Life's Journey - Cross Stitch Kit by Bobbie G Designs
"Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out, shouting Holy Cow what a ride - unknown." Kit includes 14 Ct. White Aida, thread, needle, chart, instructions, and color key. Finished size is 6" x 10.5".

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Our Family Tree - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Our family tree has deep roots and lots of nuts." Model was stitched on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan from Wichelt using Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count: 85W x 53H.

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Ten Extra Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
"When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs, and rear." Model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. fabric of your choice with Sullivan's or DMC. Stitch Count: 57x80.

(7 reviews)
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Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.

(1 review)
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Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
Don't be shy - "Wine a bit, You'll feel Better!" Includes wine bottle charm. Finished design size is 5 1/4" x 3 3/4" when stitched on 14 Count fabric.

(2 reviews)
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All About Me - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.

(4 reviews)
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Bathing Beauties - Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
This Cross Stitch Kit comes complete with 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needle, Beads, and Fully Illustrated Instructions. 12" x 12".

(3 reviews)
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Laundry Today Learn-A-Craft - Beginner Cross Stitch Kit by Dimensions
With its humorous sentiment, Laundry Today is a fun way to get the family to pick up their clothes! A great design for beginners to learn counted cross stitch. Finished Size: 6" diameter (15 cm). Contains presorted cotton thread, 14 count white cotton Aida, 6" plastic hoop, needle and easy instructions.

(2 reviews)
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Pirate's Creed - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
"The beatings will continue until morale improves." Model was stitched on Summer Khaki Lugana, 28 ct. Uses DMC floss. When stitched on 14/28 count fabric, this design fits nicely into a standard 5" x 7" frame. Includes silver pirate charm.

(3 reviews)
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Aged Wine - Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
"Wine gets better with age. The older I get the better I like it."
Model stitched on 14 count white cloth using DMC.
Stitch count: 44W x 140H.

(2 reviews)
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Cake Required - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"A great many things can be resolved with kindness. Even more with laughter, but there are some things that just require cake." Complete kit includes 28 ct green linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

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I Barely Survived - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I barely survived yesterday and it's already today!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and a Just Another Button Company button. Stitch Count: 85W x 53H.

(1 review)
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Lost It! - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"I think I've lost my mind - maybe it's with my car keys!!!" Model stitched on 28 count Cream Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 55W x 61H.

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Women are Angels - Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis
"Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly.. on our broomsticks. We're flexible like that!" Model stitched on 14/28 count Antique White Lugana using Sullivan's floss or DMC floss. Stitch count: 125W x 97H.

(2 reviews)
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Cats, The - Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Model stitched on 18ct. White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 141w x 162h.

(1 review)
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Welcome to the Nuthouse - Cross Stitch Pattern by Waxing Moon Designs
A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Model was stitched on 28 ct Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads (DMC alternates available).

(2 reviews)
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Let it Begin With Me - Cross Stitch Pattern by My Big Toe Designs
"Let there be caffeine on Earth and let it begin with me!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte with Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC 829, 610, 433, 898, 3031, 3371). Stitch Count: 126W x 98H. Second model for "cabernet" instead of "caffeine" was stitched over 1 thread on 32 Ct. Vintage Lentil by Lakeside Linens with Weeks Dye Works floss (Caper, Charcoal, Lancaster Red, Eggplant, Crimson, Peacoat).

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Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.

(2 reviews)
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Miserable Cow - Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock and Fig
"Be a sparkly unicorn, not a miserable cow." Model stitched on fabric of your choice with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 105W x 169H

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Singing Cow - Cross Stitch Kit by Permin
The complete kit includes 14 Ct. White Aida, pattern, thread, needle, instructions and green Flexi-Hoop. Finished size: 8" x 10.4"

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Stitch & Drink Wine - Cross Stitch Pattern by
"Stitch. Drink wine. Be happy." Model stitched on 14 Ct. aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 140W x 125H.

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To Glam to Give a Damn - Cross Stitch Pattern by
"Believe in your inner unicorn." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 120W x 120H.

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Cape And Tiara - Beaded Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
"I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world." Complete kit includes 28 ct orange linen, beads, floss, needle, chart and instructions. Finished size 7" x 7". Curly Girl Design.

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Just Say No - Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock and Fig
"Just say no to stupidity" Model stitched on 14 Ct. aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 100W x 140H

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Sexy Chick - Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock and Fig
"I'm a sexy chick." Model stitched on fabric of your choice with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 112W x 75H.

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