Funny Cross Stitch Patterns

I have been wanting to do this pattern for years, I finally made it! I haven't been this proud of a pattern in a long time.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count is 171 x 171. Finished size is 12.21" x 12.21".

Once again the dark souls take over "Live, Laugh, Love" with another macabre iteration of the beige phrase. Lobotomies for all of us!

Pattern is stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count is 133 x 105. Finished size is 8.07" x 7.50".

This fun cross stitch pattern from My Big Toe Designs features the saying, "We all cross our X's one leg at a time" with cute cross stitch motifs.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. Ivory Jobelan using Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch count is 95w x 63. Finished size is 5.94" x 3.94".

A playful welcome from the household's most dedicated attendant. This design captures that familiar moment when a curious cat insists on supervising every bathroom visit, peeking around the door with wide?eyed commitment. Stitched in warm, cozy tones with a touch of humor, it's perfect for... Read more about Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat - Cross Stitch Pattern

Model stitched on 18 ct. Aida "Hazelwood" by Fiber on a Whim using DMC thread. Stitch count is 78 x 125.

The model stitched on 32 ct Grey from Weeks Dye Works. Stitch count is 46w X 75h. Finished size is 2.88" x 4.69".

This pattern from Little Robin Designs says "Keep your head high and your crown straight!"

Pattern is stitched on 40 count linen, using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 144 x 65.

Model stitched over two threads on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Comes with 3 small red buttons. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.

Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring lessons learned while growing up. This pattern includes 2 sayings with the top heading included.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. DMC 3890 and 3891 not listed. Stitch count is 225 x 99. Finished size is 16.07" x 6.86".

Pattern by Joan Elliot featuring the prayer "God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway. The good fortune to run into the ones I do. And the eyesight to know the difference".

Stitched on 14 count Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count: 101W x 129H and the finished size is 7" x 9".

Model stitched on 36 Ct. Vintage Homespun using Weeks Dye Works, DMC floss, and Classic Colorworks. Stitch count is 239W x 62H. Finished size is 13.28 in wide X 3.44 in high.

"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company

"Yes, I can drive a stick." Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Stitch Count: 80H x 58W.

I'M NOT WEIRD I'M LIMITED EDITION guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches... Read more about Sassy Threads - I'm Not Weird - Cross Stitch Pattern

I RUN A TIGHT SHIPWRECK guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - I Run - Cross Stitch Pattern

HOLD ON LET ME OVER THINK THIS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Hold On - Cross Stitch Pattern

EYE ROLLING IS MY CARDIO guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Eye Rolling - Cross Stitch Pattern

BORN TO ARGUE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160 stitches high.... Read more about Sassy Threads Born To Argue - Cross Stitch Pattern

BE HAPPY IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 109 stitches wide by 160... Read more about Sassy Threads - Be Happy - Cross Stitch Pattern

SARCASM LEVEL EXPERT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the Sassy Threads saying.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 140 stitches wide by 99 stitches... Read more about Sassy Threads II - Sarcasm Level - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring lessons learned while growing up. This pattern includes 2 sayings with the top heading included.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 225 x 51. Finished size is 16.07" x 3.64".

Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring lessons learned while growing up. This pattern includes 2 sayings with the top heading included.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. DMC 3890 and 3891 not listed. Stitch count is 225 x 51. Finished size is 16.07" x 3.64".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny pattern that reads "Prone to Shenanigans and Malarkey".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 140 x 86 and the finished size is 10" x 6.1".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a cute design that reads "Stitching is my superpower".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 137 x 126 and the finished size is 9.8" x 9"

In the battle of Floss Chicken, sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. An obvious loss on the final letter.

Pattern is stitched on 32 ct. raw linen with DMC floss. The stitch count is 98 x 66 and the finished size is 6.13" x 4.13".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a relaxed snowman with his feet kicked up and the words "Let it snow".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 157 x 146 and the finished size is 11.2" x 10.4".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with an astronaut and the words "I Need More Space".

Model stitched on 14 count black Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 143 x 161 and the finished size is 10.2" x 11.5".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a spooky fun Halloween design with the words "No Trespassing, We're tired of hiding the bodies".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 182 x 58 and the finished size is 13" x 4.1".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring an angry looking candy corn with the words "Yeah, well I don't like you either".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 89 x 125 and the finished size is 6.4" x 8.9".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a chicken with the funny words "I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 149 x 208 and the finished size is 10.6" x 14.9".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny pattern with the words "Not fragile like a flower, Fragile like a bomb".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 96 x 157 and the finished size is 6.9" x 11.2".

Cross stitch pattern by Stitch Wit featuring a funny design with a hand mixer and the words "Good moms let you lick the beaters. Great moms turn them off first".

Model stitched on 14 count white Aida with DMC floss. The stitch count is 131 x 123 and the finished size is 9.4" x 8.8".

Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all."

Stitched on 36 count Cherry Vanilla by Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 61w x 37h Finished size is 3.39 in wide X 2.06 in high.

Model inspired by our lovely White Cat Sugar Boy'. Figures are belonging to his daily routine. Cat owners can divert the white color to their bellowed one's colors

Pattern is stitched on 28 ct. Zweigart Cashel Linen Evenweave with DMC floss. Stitch count is 80 x 92 and the finished size is 5.72" x 6.57".

My little dog barks at EVERYTHING! Maybe you know someone with one like that - or do you have one too.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 92w x 107h.

Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 105w x 74h.

Some call it Swearing...I call it Sentence Enhancing!

Model was stitched 2 over 2 on 32ct Gray linen from Weeks Dye Works using threads from DMC. Stitch count is 121 x 73.

Just a little cute saying - unfortunately that flower truly doesn't grow in everyone's garden.

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 60w x 62h.

Boy, is this a true statement.... and my body definitely isn't pleased, though I'm thankful for every day!

Pattern is stitched on 14 ct Aida using DMC threads. Stitch count is 83 x 93.

What DO you call a person who's happy on Monday - well, retired seems a fitting term.

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using DMC or Anchor threads. Stitch count is 91 x 91.Anchor thread:ANC0229 is also needed. We do not carry.

Well, I don't know about you, but if you're old, you were probably young and stupid at one time - I sure was. But.... now I'm wise! "The reason I'm old and wise is that God protected me when I was young and stupid"!

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 89 x 89.

"Or course I talk to myself when I stitch. Sometimes I need expert advice"! Absolutely - frequently need expert advice - and where better to get it from than - ME.

Pattern is stitched on the fabric of your choice using DMC threads. Stitch count is 101 x 105.

At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Someday to be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them. "I've finally reached the wonder years. Wonder where I parked the car. Wonder where I left the phone. Wonder where my glasses are."

Pattern is stitched on 14 count White Aida using Dmc threads. Stitch count is 103 x 116.

Cross stitch pattern from Vals Stuff featuring a large cat determined to sit in a small box because "If I fits, I sits"!

Pattern is stitched on 28 ct Demoiselle Lugana using Weeks Dye Works threads. Heart button included. Stitch count is 66h x 57w.

Note: There is no DMC conversion listed for Weeks Dye Works Islamorada.

Your cowboy will be pleased as punch when you stitch this one up for him!

Model was stitched on 32ct Mudders Milk linen from Lapin Loops using Weeks Dye Works and Classic Colorworks threads. Stitch count is 93 x 96.

Stabby, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and stitched in DMC floss: dark gray (#3799) and red (#321). Feel free to substitute colors and fabrics to your taste. Stitch Count is 120 Wide by 110 High. Will measure... Read more about Stabby - Cross Stitch Pattern

Cross stitch pattern from Amy Bruecken Designs featuring the phrase "Here we go again. I mean...Good Morning"!

Model stitched on Picture This Plus 28 count Heartland using Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count is 80 x 191.

Cross stitch pattern from The Artsy Housewife featuring a cheeky cat showing the flower plant who's boss!

Pattern is stitched on 32 Dirty Linen by Zweigart. Stitch count is 129 x 109.