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Humorous Cross Stitch Patterns

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94 items found

PS164 Drive a Stick - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39
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"Yes, I can drive a stick." Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Stitch Count: 80H x 58W.
20-2695 Bad Decisions - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Kays Frames and Designs
$10.00 $8.99
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"Bad decisions make great stories" Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan using Weeks Dye Works and Classic Colorworks (or DMC floss 3371 3362 316). Stitch Count: 188x48. Design Size: 12" x 3"
19-1340 Coffee Drinker's Confession - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$10.00 $8.99
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"I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without coffee." MOdel stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC 829, 842, 3371 730, 420, 840, 610, 839, 355) Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Design Size: 8" x 4"
08-2551 Hen Party - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Little House Needleworks
$6.00 $5.39
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Model stitched on 28ct. Creme Brulee using DMC & Crescent Colours. Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company. Stitch count: 82 x 54.
MBT-260 In My Defense - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"In my defense I was left unsupervised." Model stitched two over two on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using Weeks Dye Works (or DMC floss 320, 3746, 645, 3804, 3766, 7250. Stitch Count: 85W x 53H. Design Size: 5 1/4" x 3 1/4"
PS176 Ten Extra Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39
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"When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs, and rear." Model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. fabric of your choice with Sullivan's or DMC. Stitch Count: 57x80.
LK-S99 Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00 $4.49
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"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.
MBT-11 Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.
MBT-265 Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Finished size: 4" x 4".
20-1881 Personal Is Political - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$8.00 $7.19
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"The personal is political it always has been" Model stitched over two 32 Ct. Blush lien using DMC floss. Stitch count: 75w x 85h. Design Size: 5" x 5"
20-1029 Coffee, Tea or Me?
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49
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"When I am old, I will ask Coffee, Tea or Me?" Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss and Caron Waterlilies. Specialty Stitches Used Lazy Daisy Stitch and 1/2 Stitch. Stitch Count: 59W x 58H. Design Size: 4 1/4" x 4 1/4"
MBT-236 Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.
MBT121 Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.
LK-S103 Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00 $4.49
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"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.
08-2350 Don't Get Your Tinsel In A Tangle - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39
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Model stitched on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.
HD-237 Turnip the Beet - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$10.00 $8.99
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"Lettuce turnip the beet peas" Model stitched on either 32 Ct. White Belfast or 32 Ct. Chalkboard Black (DMC 08 not used on Chalkboard Black) using DMC floss. Stitch Count 80x80. Design Size: 5" x 5".
20-3020 If You Fall - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Keslyn's
$14.50 $13.05
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"You & I are sisters. If you fall, I will always be there to pick you up - after I stop laughing!" Model stitched one over two on 28 Ct. Vintage Cashel using French Blue Dark Silk N Colors. Stitch Count: 216H x 119W. Design Size: 15.42" x 8.50"
19-2597 When I am Old - I Will Rock Girl's Night Out
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using Caron Waterlilies, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC floss, Kreinik #8 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. Specialty Stitch: French Knot. Also required not listed above Rainbow Gallery Petite Sparkle Rays #PS42 and Caron Collection Rachelette #A89. Stitch Count: 82W x 72h. Design Size: 5.75" x 5.25"
MBT-245 Dog Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"Just one dog short of crazy" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC floss 165, 640, 838, 535, 312, 815, 3345, 3045). Stitch Count: 71W x 71H. Design Size: 5" x 5"
20-1519 All Who Wander are not Lost - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49
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"Not all who wander are lost. Some are just looking for coffee!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with DMC floss.Stitch Count: 68W x 98H. Finished size: 10"x13".
20-1603 I Will Cut You - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$10.00 $8.99
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"I will cut you - snip snip snips snip" Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Autumn Opal by Under the Sea Fabrics with Gentle Art Sampler threads and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 81x319. Finished size: 5" x 20".
20-1282 Messy Bun Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$5.00 $4.49
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"It's a messy bun day!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana wit DMC floss. Stitch count: 45 x 44.
20-1295 You're Okay - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$8.00 $7.19
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"You're okay - I guess" Model stitched on 18 count River Rock Aida with Classic Colorworks, Gentle Art and Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count: 91 x 90.
20-1019 When I am Old - I Will Sing in the Rain
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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"When I am old, I will sing in the rain!" Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Kreinik #4 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. Specialty Stitch Used: French Knots. Stitch Count: 68W x 98H. Design Size: 4 3/4" x 7"
20-1874 My Stitching Time - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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"My stitching time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that." Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Azure Blue Lugana using Weeks Dye Works (or DMC floss white, 369, 938, 902, 471, 3819, 3716, 223). Stitch Count: 83W x 84H. Design Size: 5 1/8" x 5 1/4"
20-1283 Alice's Mad Plant - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$8.00 $7.19
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Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Wheat Lugana using DMC floss. Stitch Count: 77W x 72H. Design Size: 5.5" x 5.15"
20-1880 Curglaff - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$8.00 $7.19
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"The shock felt when bathing when one first plunges into cold water" Model stitched on either 22 Ct. Golddigger, Old Map Style from Colour Cascade Fabrics or 18 Ct. Dubloon Aida from Picture this Plus. Stitched using DMC floss. Optional floss was Cottage Garden Threads #2003 Skylark. Stitch count: 118w x 75h.
19-2702 When I am Old - Guardian Angel - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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"I'm on my third guardian angel. The first two quit and are in therapy!" Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss and Rainbow Gallery Petite Treasure Braid. Also required, but not listed above Kreinik #4 Braid #5730 & 9594 Stitch Count: 124W x 71H. Design Size: 9" x 5"
19-2841 When I am Old - I Will Relive My Youth
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss and Rainbow Gallery Petite Treasure Bread. Stitch Count: 103W x 49H. Design Size: 7 1/2" x 3 1/2"
19-1151 Self Medicated - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$10.00 $8.99
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"I don't self-medicate with cross stitch. I have a prescriptions. The sales girl called it a receipt." Framed model stitched on 30 Ct. Tin Roof and pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Guacamole using Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 902, 603, 151 319, 156, 333, 729, 676, 470, 472). Stitch Count for Framed: 180W x 74H, Design Size: 12" x 5" For Pillow: 62W x 41H, 4" x 3"
19-2026 I Love You More Than Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$10.50 $9.45
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"I love you more than coffee, but not before coffee!" Model stitched two over two on 32 Ct Antique White Jobelan using Gentle Art Sampler Threads and DMC floss. Stitch count is 123W x 77H. Design size is 8.75" x 5.5"
MBT-224 Nothing to Fear - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company
17-2219 Early Bird - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00 $8.09
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"The early bird can have the worm 'cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid!" Framed model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Moonglow by Picture this Plus, using DMC floss & Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch count 70x121. Pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Banana Popsicle linen by Weeks Dye Works, using DMC Pearl #5 or Dinky Dye's Jumbuck. Stitch count 67x30. Pillow also uses a button pack from Just Another Button Company. (DMC LISTED FOR FRAMED PATTERN ONLY)
18-1834 Size Will Not Matter - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49
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"When I am old... size will not matter!" Model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Gentle Art Sampler threads and Rainbow Gallery Petite Treasure braids. Stitch count 84w x 47h
17-2168 Christmas Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$7.00 $6.29
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"When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear." Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. (DMC alternates are 726 912 3832 902 3776 3716 353 938 422 612 3815 321 white) Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Design Size: 7" x 11"
17-2215 Adultish - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00 $8.09
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"Just another day of not being RICH and FAMOUS" "Adult-ish" "Kinda care, kinda don't." All models were stitched on 30 Ct. Linen color of your choice, using DMC floss. Stitch count for Rich & Famous: 63 x 80, Design Size: 5" x 6" For ADULT-ish: 75 x 30, 5" x 2" For Kinda Care: 51 x 31, 4" x 3"
18-1425 Frogs in Your Underpants - Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Nebby Needle
$12.00 $10.79
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"May the light always find you on a dreary day. When you need a home may you find your way. May you always have courage to take a chance - and never find frogs in your underpants." Model stitched over 2 threads on 36 Ct. Vintage Lentil with Weeks Dye Works floss and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 166W x 165H. Design Size: 9" x 9".
17-1241 Not My Monkeys - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$6.00 $5.39
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"Not my circus, not my monkeys." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 174x130. Designed by Ursula Michael.
17-1524 Who Ate My Ice Cream? - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Vickery Collection
$9.00 $8.09
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Model stitched two over one on 16 Ct. White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch Count: 169x107. Design Size: 11" x 7".
06-2675 Is It Too Late? - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39
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A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H. (DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310)
08-1774 Housework Never Killed Anyone - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39
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Model stitched on 32ct. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 109w x 45h. (DMC alternates are 3740 745 3052 937 3802 223)
08-1756 Pirate's Creed - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39
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"The beatings will continue until morale improves." Model was stitched on Summer Khaki Lugana, 28 ct. Uses DMC floss. When stitched on 14/28 count fabric, this design fits nicely into a standard 5" x 7" frame. Includes silver pirate charm.
13-1414 Troubled Water - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Ink Circles
$8.00 Sale $6.39
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The first in a "Bad Neighborhoods" series - featuring dead fish floating in the water! Model stitched on 30 Ct. Beige linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC 3013, 3328, 3854, 3835, 3773, 746, 801, 3363, 932, 612). Stitch Count: 71x81.
LK154 Wouldn't Life Be Great - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$9.00 $8.09
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"Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread, and DMC floss (or all DMC 3031, 3687, 3807, 3828, 3790, 731, 3813). Stitch count is 221W x 72H.
MBT-138 All About Me - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$7.99
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"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.
06-1149 Snowman Kit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$7.00 $6.29
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What do you need to build a snowman? A warm hat, scarf, and mittens, a carrot nose, pipe, coal....oh and of course, plenty of snow! Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana. Stitch Count: 94W x 121H. Includes snowflake charm.
MBT-018 Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H.
10-1046 Aged Wine - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bobbie G Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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"Wine gets better with age. The older I get the better I like it."
Model stitched on 14 count white cloth using DMC.
Stitch count: 44W x 140H.Design Size: 4" x 10"


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