Humorous Cross Stitch Patterns

99 items found

PS164
Drive a Stick - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39
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"Yes, I can drive a stick." Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Stitch Count: 80H x 58W.
HD-256
Resting Stitch Face - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Hands On Design
$6.00 $5.39
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Model stitched over 2 threads with 32 Ct. Angel Wing from Fabrics by Stephanie with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 61x65. Finished size: 3 3/4" x 3 3/4".
LK154
Wouldn't Life Be Great - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$9.00 $8.09
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"Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works ... Read more
08-1774
Housework Never Killed Anyone - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39
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Model stitched on 32ct. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 109w x 45h. (DMC alternates are 3740 745 3052 937 3802 223)
08-2551
Hen Party - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Little House Needleworks
$7.00 $6.29
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Model stitched on 28ct. Creme Brulee using DMC & Crescent Colours. Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company. Stitch count: 82 x 54.
MBT-236
Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.
06-2675
Is It Too Late? - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39
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A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H. (DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310)
MFDC001
All Are Equal in Death - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Modern Folk Embroidery
$10.50 $9.99
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Cross stitch pattern from Modern Folkart Embroidery featuring a skeleton and the phrase "Are all equal in death".

Stitched over 2 threads on 32 count linen (or over 1 on 16ct Aida) it would measure approximately 8" by 12" (20.5 by 30.5 cm). It has a total of 6368 crosses. Wh... Read more
19-1340
Coffee Drinker's Confession - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$10.00 $8.99
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"I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without coffee." MOdel stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC 829, 842, 3371 730, 420, 840, 610, 839, 355) Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Design Size: 8" x 4"
04-1602
Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39
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Don't be shy - "Wine a bit, You'll feel Better!" Includes wine bottle charm. Finished design size is 5 1/4" x 3 3/4" when stitched on 14 Count fabric.
LK-S103
Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00 $4.49
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"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.
PAF-AFI
Adventures For Introverts - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$13.99 $13.15
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Cross stitch pattern by Peacock & Fig with the saying "Crafting - Adventure for Introverts. Naps & Snacks Recommended."

Model stitched on 14 count Aida of your choice with DMC threads. Stitch count is 94 x 127.
21-2394
Humorous Halloween 4 Pack - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Pickle Barrel Designs
$12.00 $10.79
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Model stitched on 14 ct. Aida in Natural Brown using DMC threads. Stitch count for Dead & Breakfast Inn is 45 x 61, Stay for a Bite 43 x 62, Get Sheet Faced 45 x 62, Boo Ya 42 x 58.
21-1358
Younger - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$7.00 $6.29
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"I've decided what I want to be when I get older...younger." Model stitched two over two on 14 Ct. White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch Count: 100x43. Design Size: 7" x 10".
MBT-265
Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Finished size: 4" x 4".
20-1519
All Who Wander are not Lost - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49
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"Not all who wander are lost. Some are just looking for coffee!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with DMC floss.Stitch Count: 68W x 98H. Finished size: 10"x13".
20-1603
I Will Cut You - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$10.00 $8.99
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"I will cut you - snip snip snips snip" Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Autumn Opal by Under the Sea Fabrics with Gentle Art Sampler threads and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 81x319. Finished size: 5" x 20".
20-1874
My Stitching Time - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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"My stitching time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that." Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Azure Blue Lugana using Weeks Dye Works (or DMC floss white, 369, 938, 902, 471, 3819, 3716, 223). Stitch Count: 83W x 84H. Design Size: 5 1/8" x 5 1/4"
18-1425
Frogs in Your Underpants - Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Nebby Needle
$12.00 $10.79
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"May the light always find you on a dreary day. When you need a home may you find your way. May you always have courage to take a chance - and never find frogs in your underpants." Model stitched over 2 threads on 36 Ct. Vintage Lentil with Weeks Dye Works floss and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 166W x 165H. Design Size: 9" x 9".
18-2789
Stitching Each Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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"Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!" Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. (DMC alternates are 898 315 907 600 894 3809 906 964) Stitch count 85x108. Design Size: 6" x 8"
10-1046
Aged Wine - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bobbie G Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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"Wine gets better with age. The older I get the better I like it."
Model stitched on 14 count white cloth using DMC.
Stitch count: 44W x 140H.Design Size: 4" x 10"
LK-S99
Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00 $4.49
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"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.
08-1756
Pirate's Creed - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39
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"The beatings will continue until morale improves." Model was stitched on Summer Khaki Lugana, 28 ct. Uses DMC floss. When stitched on 14/28 count fabric, this design fits nicely into a standard 5" x 7" frame. Includes silver pirate charm.
08-2099
Retirement Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00 $8.99
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"Retirement is a Full Time Job" is stitched on 28 count Country French Latte Linen with a stitch count of 54W x 72H. "Welcome to the Rest of Your Life" is stitched on 28 count Sand Quaker with a stitch count of 80W x 68H. "World's Longest Coffee Break" is stitched on 32 count... Read more
09-2029
Life's Journey - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bobbie G Designs
$6.00 $5.39
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"Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting holy cow what a ride".
Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss.
Stitch Count: 84W x 144H. Design Size: 6" x 11"
13-1414
Troubled Water - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Ink Circles
$8.00 $7.19
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The first in a "Bad Neighborhoods" series - featuring dead fish floating in the water! Model stitched on 30 Ct. Beige linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC 3013, 3328, 3854, 3835, 3773, 746, 801, 3363, 932, 612). Stitch Count: 71x81.
13-2701
How Do You Take Your Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49
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"How do you take your coffee? Seriously, very seriously." Stitch Count: 100W x66H. Model stitched on 32 ct Antique white Jobelan using Gentle Art Simply wool, Caron Waterlilies & DMC.
14-2119
Few Hoots, A - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$6.00 $5.39
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"Families are like owls. Mostly sweet with a few hoots." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 83x210. Designed by Ursula Michael.
PS176
Ten Extra Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39
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"When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs, and rear." Model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. fabric of your choice with Sullivan's or DMC. Stitch Count: 57x80.
PAF-BTF
Be the Flamingo - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$13.99 $13.19
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"Be the flamingo in the flock of pigeons." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 100x160.
01-2714
Welcome to the Nuthouse - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$8.00 $7.19
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A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Model was stitched on 28 Ct. Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads (DMC alternates available). Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Design Size: 6" x 7"
MBT-11
Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
Sale $6.39
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"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.
06-1149
Snowman Kit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$7.00 Sale $5.59
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What do you need to build a snowman? A warm hat, scarf, and mittens, a carrot nose, pipe, coal....oh and of course, plenty of snow! Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana. Stitch Count: 94W x 121H. Includes snowflake charm.
06-1533
Country Wise (Book 130) - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Prairie Schooler
$8.00 $7.19
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Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Stitch count: "Plan Ahead" - 157W x 38H; "Keep it Simple" - 160W x 38H; "Measure Twice" - 113W x 70H; "The Witch is In" - 59W x 41H. Book #130
MBT-018
Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H.
MBT121
Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.
06-3143
Iced Tea - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Midnight Stitching
$7.00 $6.29
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Model stitched on 28ct jazz cashel using DMC, Gentle Arts, Weeks Dye Works & Kreinik #4 braid. Stitch count 82x73.
17-2219
Early Bird - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00 $8.09
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"The early bird can have the worm 'cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid!" Framed model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Moonglow by Picture this Plus, using DMC floss & Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch count 70x121. Pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Banana Popsicle linen by Weeks ... Read more
19-2597
When I am Old - I Will Rock Girl's Night Out
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 Sale $4.79
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Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using Caron Waterlilies, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC floss, Kreinik #8 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. Specialty Stitch: French Knot. Also required not listed above Rainbow Gallery Petite Sparkle Rays #PS42 and Caron Collection Rachelette #A89. Stitch Count: 82W x 72h. Design Size: 5.75" x 5.25"
08-2350
Don't Get Your Tinsel In A Tangle - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39
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Model stitched on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.
17-2168
Christmas Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$7.00 $6.29
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"When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear." Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. (DMC alternates are 726 912 3832 902 3776 3716 353 938 422 612 3815 321 white) Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Design Size: 7" x 11"
MBT-245
Dog Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
Sale $6.39
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"Just one dog short of crazy" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC floss 165, 640, 838, 535, 312, 815, 3345, 3045). Stitch Count: 71W x 71H. Design Size: 5" x 5"
08-2638
Wear A Smile - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00 Sale $3.99
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Model stitched on 32 Ct. Hand Dyed African Daisy Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works. DMC equivalents are 798 3777 3347. Stitch Count: 58W x 50H. Blue Flower Button sold separately.
MBT-223
Place For Everything, A - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
Sale $6.39
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"A place for everything and nothing in it's place!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 67W x 99H.
MBT-177
Our Family Tree - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00
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"Our family tree has deep roots and lots of nuts." Model was stitched on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan from Wichelt using Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count: 85W x 53H.
MBT-027
Lost It! - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
Sale $6.39
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"I think I've lost my mind - maybe it's with my car keys!!!" Model stitched on 28 count Cream Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 55W x 61H.
10-1303
Women are Angels - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$9.00 Sale $7.19
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"Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly.. on our broomsticks. We're flexible like that!" Model stitched on 14/28 count Antique White Lugana using Sullivan's floss or DMC floss. Stitch count: 125W x 97H.
MBT111
Very Faint Line, A - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
Sale $6.39
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"The line is very faint between hobby and mental illness." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ivory Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and Just Another Button Company buttons (4483S, 1171S, 3361, 3369M, 3387). Stitch Count: 48W x 83H.


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