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Humorous Cross Stitch Patterns

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92 items found

08-2350 Don't Get Your Tinsel In A Tangle - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39  
Model stitched on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.
06-2675 Is It Too Late? - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39  
A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H. (DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310)
LK-32K Normal is Just a Setting (w/buttons) - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00 $8.99  
"Normal is just a setting on the washer!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Lambswool linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads and Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC 517, 3354, 347, 807, 930, 731, 712). Comes with 3 tiny mauve buttons and a heart charm. Stitch Count: 87W x 85H.
PS164 Drive a Stick - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39  
"Yes, I can drive a stick." Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Stitch Count: 80H x 58W.
LK-S99 Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00 $4.49  
"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.
20-1874 My Stitching Time - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
"My stitching time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that." Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Azure Blue Lugana using Weeks Dye Works (or DMC floss white, 369, 938, 902, 471, 3819, 3716, 223). Stitch Count: 83W x 84H. Design Size: 5 1/8" x 5 1/4"
08-1774 Housework Never Killed Anyone - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39  
Model stitched on 32ct. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 109w x 45h. (DMC alternates are 3740 745 3052 937 3802 223)
01-2714 Welcome to the Nuthouse - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$8.00 $7.19  
A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Model was stitched on 28 Ct. Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads (DMC alternates available). Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Design Size: 6" x 7"
MBT-224 Nothing to Fear - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"There's nothing to fear but fear itself..and spiders!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 68W x 68H. Shown with a button from Just Another Button Company
08-2099 Retirement Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00 $8.99  
"Retirement is a Full Time Job" is stitched on 28 count Country French Latte Linen with a stitch count of 54W x 72H. "Welcome to the Rest of Your Life" is stitched on 28 count Sand Quaker with a stitch count of 80W x 68H. "World's Longest Coffee Break" is stitched on 32 count Lambswool Linen with a stitch count of 69W x 68H. Models use Gentle Arts Sampler Threads and Weeks Dye Works. (DMC alternates are 931 729 347 3823 3362 930)
20-1021 Coffee, Wine, Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$6.50 $5.85  
"Please, give me coffee to change the things I can, Wine to accept the things I can't AND send chocolate when I can't tell the difference!" Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss. Specialty Stitched Used: French Knot. Stitch Count: 112W x 87H. Design Size: 8" x 6 1/4"
19-2841 When I Grow Old I Will Relive My Youth
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss and Rainbow Gallery Petite Treasure Bread. Stitch Count: 103W x 49H. Design Size: 7 1/2" x 3 1/2"
19-2036 Choose Your Own Motto Sampler - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$12.00 $10.79  
"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time." Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 924, 436, 356, 221, 3364, 680, 3818, Ecru, 939, 3064, 3834, 730, 3778, 3829, 3768, 935). Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Design Size: 11" x 9"
19-1340 Coffee Drinker's Confession - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$10.00 $8.99  
"I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without coffee." MOdel stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC 829, 842, 3371 730, 420, 840, 610, 839, 355) Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Design Size: 8" x 4"
18-2789 Stitching Each Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
"Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!" Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. (DMC alternates are 898 315 907 600 894 3809 906 964) Stitch count 85x108. Design Size: 6" x 8"
17-2219 Early Bird - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00 $8.09  
"The early bird can have the worm 'cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid!" Framed model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Moonglow by Picture this Plus, using DMC floss & Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch count 70x121. Pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Banana Popsicle linen by Weeks Dye Works, using DMC Pearl #5 or Dinky Dye's Jumbuck. Stitch count 67x30. Pillow also uses a button pack from Just Another Button Company. (DMC LISTED FOR FRAMED PATTERN ONLY)
MBT-198 More Than Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$10.00  
"I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 126W x 98H.
MBT121 Normal Family - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Stitch count is 134W x 86H.
08-1756 Pirate's Creed - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39  
"The beatings will continue until morale improves." Model was stitched on Summer Khaki Lugana, 28 ct. Uses DMC floss. When stitched on 14/28 count fabric, this design fits nicely into a standard 5" x 7" frame. Includes silver pirate charm.
09-2029 Life's Journey - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bobbie G Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
"Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting holy cow what a ride".
Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss.
Stitch Count: 84W x 144H. Design Size: 6" x 11"
19-2598 When I am Old I Will Dance By Moonlight
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC six strand and Etoile floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Specialty Stitch: French Knots. Stitch Count: 72W x 92H. Design Size: 5.25" x 6.5"
20-1881 Personal Is Political - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$8.00 $7.19  
"The personal is political it always has been" Model stitched over two 32 Ct. Blush lien using DMC floss. Stitch count: 75w x 85h. Design Size: 5" x 5"
20-2597 When I am Old I Will Rock Girls Night Out
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using Carol Waterlilies, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC floss, Kreinik #8 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. Specialty Stitch: French Knot. Also required not listed above Rainbow Gallery Petite Sparkle Rays #PS42 and Caron Collection Rachelette #A89. Stitch Count: 82W x 72h. Design Size: 5.75" x 5.25"
20-1603 I Will Cut You - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$10.00 $8.99  
"I will cut you - snip snip snips snip" Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Autumn Opal by Under the Sea Fabrics with Gentle Art Sampler threads and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 81x319. Finished size: 5" x 20".
MBT-245 Dog Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"Just one dog short of crazy" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC floss 165, 640, 838, 535, 312, 815, 3345, 3045). Stitch Count: 71W x 71H. Design Size: 5" x 5"
LK-32B All You Need Is Love - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00 $8.99  
"All you need is love and chocolate!!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 27/28 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC (or all DMC floss 744, 3811, 3705, 829, 3848, 731, 3348). Stitch count: 45 x 101H.
20-1019 When I Am Old I Will Sing in the Rain - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
"When I am old, I will sing in the rain!" Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Kreinik #4 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. Specialty Stitch Used: French Knots. Stitch Count: 68W x 98H. Design Size: 4 3/4" x 7"
19-2702 When I Grow Old Guardian Angel - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
"I'm on my third guardian angel. The first two quit and are in therapy!" Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss and Rainbow Gallery Petite Treasure Braid. Also required, but not listed above Kreinik #4 Braid #5730 & 9594 Stitch Count: 124W x 71H. Design Size: 9" x 5"
MBT-236 Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.
LK-31B Well Behaved Women - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00 $8.99  
"Well behaved women rarely make history!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 27/28 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC (or all DMC floss 744, 3811, 3705, 829, 3848, 731, 3348). Stitch count: 44W x 101H. Comes with a button.
18-1834 Size Will Not Matter - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49  
"When I am old... size will not matter!" Model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Gentle Art Sampler threads and Rainbow Gallery Petite Treasure braids. Stitch count 84w x 47h
18-1720 Growing Old is Inevitable - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 Sale $3.99  
"Growing old is inevitable. Aging is optional." Stitch Count: 84W x 65H
PS176 Ten Extra Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39  
"When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs, and rear." Model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. fabric of your choice with Sullivan's or DMC. Stitch Count: 57x80.
LK154 Wouldn't Life Be Great - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$9.00 $8.09  
"Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread, and DMC floss (or all DMC 3031, 3687, 3807, 3828, 3790, 731, 3813). Stitch count is 221W x 72H.
06-1149 Snowman Kit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$7.00 $6.29  
What do you need to build a snowman? A warm hat, scarf, and mittens, a carrot nose, pipe, coal....oh and of course, plenty of snow! Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana. Stitch Count: 94W x 121H. Includes snowflake charm.
04-1602 Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39  
Don't be shy - "Wine a bit, You'll feel Better!" Includes wine bottle charm. Finished design size is 5 1/4" x 3 3/4" when stitched on 14 Count fabric.
20-1880 Curglaff - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$8.00 $7.19  
"The shock felt when bathing when one first plunges into cold water" Model stitched on either 22 Ct. Golddigger, Old Map Style from Colour Cascade Fabrics or 18 Ct. Dubloon Aida from Picture this Plus. Stitched using DMC floss. Optional floss was Cottage Garden Threads #2003 Skylark. Stitch count: 118w x 75h.
20-1283 Alice's Mad Plant - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$8.00 $7.19  
Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Wheat Lugana using DMC floss. Stitch Count: 77W x 72H. Design Size: 5.5" x 5.15"
19-1151 Self Medicated - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$10.00 $8.99  
"I don't self-medicate with cross stitch. I have a prescriptions. The sales girl called it a receipt." Framed model stitched on 30 Ct. Tin Roof and pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Guacamole using Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 902, 603, 151 319, 156, 333, 729, 676, 470, 472). Stitch Count for Framed: 180W x 74H, Design Size: 12" x 5" For Pillow: 62W x 41H, 4" x 3"
19-1152 Cross Stitch Party - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$10.00 $8.99  
"I like to party - and by party I mean Cross Stitch" Model stitched on 30 Ct. "Linen" linen using DMC floss. Stitch Count for Frame: 102W x 65H, Design Size: 7" x 5" For Pillow: 50W x 34H, 4" x 3"
19-1461 When I am Old, I Can be Like Lady Godiva
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49  
Model stitched on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Kreinik Metallics, and Mill Hill Beads. Also required, but not listed above Rachelette #A59 from Caron Collection. Stitch count is 63W x 82H.
18-2181 No Epitaph Ever Said Her House Was Not Clean
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49  
Model stitched over two on 28 ct Antique White Jobelan using DMC, Kreinik #4 braid Mill Hill Beads & Rainbow Gallery Petite treasure braid. Stitch Count: 68W x 50H
17-2168 Christmas Pounds - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Waxing Moon Designs
$7.00 $6.29  
"When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear." Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. (DMC alternates are 726 912 3832 902 3776 3716 353 938 422 612 3815 321 white) Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Design Size: 7" x 11"
MBT-208 Let it Begin With Me - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$10.00  
"Let there be caffeine on Earth and let it begin with me!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte with Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC 829, 610, 433, 898, 3031, 3371). Stitch Count: 126W x 98H. Second model for "cabernet" instead of "caffeine" was stitched over 1 thread on 32 Ct. Vintage Lentil by Lakeside Linens with Weeks Dye Works floss (Caper, Charcoal, Lancaster Red, Eggplant, Crimson, Peacoat).
17-2215 Adultish - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00 $8.09  
"Just another day of not being RICH and FAMOUS" "Adult-ish" "Kinda care, kinda don't." All models were stitched on 30 Ct. Linen color of your choice, using DMC floss. Stitch count for Rich & Famous: 63 x 80, Design Size: 5" x 6" For ADULT-ish: 75 x 30, 5" x 2" For Kinda Care: 51 x 31, 4" x 3"
MBT-177 Our Family Tree - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"Our family tree has deep roots and lots of nuts." Model was stitched on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan from Wichelt using Weeks Dye Works threads. Stitch count: 85W x 53H.
17-1241 Not My Monkeys - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$6.00 $5.39  
"Not my circus, not my monkeys." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 174x130. Designed by Ursula Michael.
17-1524 Who Ate My Ice Cream? - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Vickery Collection
$9.00 $8.09  
Model stitched on 16 Ct. white Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count 169x107


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