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Humorous Cross Stitch Patterns

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93 items found

20-1603 I Will Cut You - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lucy Beam Love in Stitches
$10.00 $8.99  
"I will cut you - snip snip snips snip" Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Autumn Opal by Under the Sea Fabrics with Gentle Art Sampler threads and Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 81x319. Finished size: 5" x 20".
LK-32K Normal is Just a Setting (w/buttons) - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00 $8.99  
"Normal is just a setting on the washer!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Lambswool linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads and Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC 517, 3354, 347, 807, 930, 731, 712). Comes with 3 tiny mauve buttons and a heart charm. Stitch Count: 87W x 85H.
19-2036 Choose Your Own Motto Sampler - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$12.00 $10.79  
"All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time." Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 924, 436, 356, 221, 3364, 680, 3818, Ecru, 939, 3064, 3834, 730, 3778, 3829, 3768, 935). Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Design Size: 11" x 9"
19-1151 Self Medicated - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$10.00 $8.99  
"I don't self-medicate with cross stitch. I have a prescriptions. The sales girl called it a receipt." Framed model stitched on 30 Ct. Tin Roof and pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Guacamole using Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 902, 603, 151 319, 156, 333, 729, 676, 470, 472). Stitch Count for Framed: 180W x 74H, Design Size: 12" x 5" For Pillow: 62W x 41H, 4" x 3"
PS164 Drive a Stick - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39  
"Yes, I can drive a stick." Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Stitch Count: 80H x 58W.
20-1519 Not all Who Wander are Lost - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49  
"Not all who wander are lost. Some are just looking for coffee!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with DMC floss.Stitch Count: 68W x 98H. Finished size: 10"x13".
18-1559 I'm Sorry Did My Eyes Roll Out Loud? - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00 $8.09  
"I'm sorry, did my eyes roll out loud" - Model stitched over 2 threads on 30 Ct. Grasshopper linen. Stitch Count: 77 x 44. Design Size: 6" x 3" "Trust me you can dance love, wine" (with variations for beer, vodka & tequila) - Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 ct. Flapper linen. Stitch Count: 68 x 47. Design Size: 5" x 4" Both models stitched with DMC floss.
08-2551 Hen Party - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Little House Needleworks
$6.00 $5.39  
Model stitched on 28ct. Creme Brulee using DMC & Crescent Colours. Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company. Stitch count: 82 x 54.
17-2219 Early Bird - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00 $8.09  
"The early bird can have the worm 'cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid!" Framed model stitched over two threads on 28 Ct. Moonglow by Picture this Plus, using DMC floss & Classic Colorworks floss. Stitch count 70x121. Pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Banana Popsicle linen by Weeks Dye Works, using DMC Pearl #5 or Dinky Dye's Jumbuck. Stitch count 67x30. Pillow also uses a button pack from Just Another Button Company. (DMC LISTED FOR FRAMED PATTERN ONLY)
LK154 Wouldn't Life Be Great - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$9.00 $8.09  
"Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread, and DMC floss (or all DMC 3031, 3687, 3807, 3828, 3790, 731, 3813). Stitch count is 221W x 72H.
08-1756 Pirate's Creed - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39  
"The beatings will continue until morale improves." Model was stitched on Summer Khaki Lugana, 28 ct. Uses DMC floss. When stitched on 14/28 count fabric, this design fits nicely into a standard 5" x 7" frame. Includes silver pirate charm.
20-1295 You're Okay - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bendy Stitchy Designs
$8.00 $7.19  
"You're okay - I guess" Model stitched on 18 count River Rock Aida with Classic Colorworks, Gentle Art and Weeks Dye Works thread. Stitch count: 91 x 90.
20-1021 Coffee, Wine, Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$6.50 $5.85  
"Please, give me coffee to change the things I can, Wine to accept the things I can't AND send chocolate when I can't tell the difference!" Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss. Specialty Stitched Used: French Knot. Stitch Count: 112W x 87H. Design Size: 8" x 6 1/4"
LK-31B Well Behaved Women - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00 $8.99  
"Well behaved women rarely make history!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 27/28 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC (or all DMC floss 744, 3811, 3705, 829, 3848, 731, 3348). Stitch count: 44W x 101H. Comes with a button.
18-1425 Frogs in Your Underpants - Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Nebby Needle
$12.00 $10.79  
"May the light always find you on a dreary day. When you need a home may you find your way. May you always have courage to take a chance - and never find frogs in your underpants." Model stitched over 2 threads on 36 Ct. Vintage Lentil with Weeks Dye Works floss and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Stitch Count: 166W x 165H.
13-2701 How Do You Take Your Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49  
"How do you take your coffee? Seriously, very seriously." Stitch Count: 100W x66H. Model stitched on 32 ct Antique white Jobelan using Gentle Art Simply wool, Caron Waterlilies & DMC.
14-2119 Few Hoots, A - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$6.00 $5.39  
"Families are like owls. Mostly sweet with a few hoots." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 83x210. Designed by Ursula Michael.
LK-S99 Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00 $4.49  
"Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Model stitched on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 32W x 62H.
LK-S103 Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$5.00 $4.49  
"If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count is 127W x 33H.
MBT-245 Dog Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"Just one dog short of crazy" Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss (or DMC floss 165, 640, 838, 535, 312, 815, 3345, 3045). Stitch Count: 71W x 71H. Design Size: 5" x 5"
20-1029 When I Am Old I will Ask Coffee, Tea or Me?
by MarNic Designs
$5.00 $4.49  
"When I am old, I will ask Coffee, Tea or Me?" Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss and Caron Waterlilies. Specialty Stitches Used Lazy Daisy Stitch and 1/2 Stitch. Stitch Count: 59W x 58H. Design Size: 4 1/4" x 4 1/4"
19-1340 Coffee Drinker's Confession - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Heartstring Samplery
$10.00 $8.99  
"I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without coffee." MOdel stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC 829, 842, 3371 730, 420, 840, 610, 839, 355) Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Design Size: 8" x 4"
19-1655 Stitch a Day - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$10.00 $8.99  
"A stitch a day keeps the crazy away." Large pillow model stitched on 28 Ct. Pink from Fabric Flair, Small pillow stitched on 35 Ct. Sophia's Pink and Framed model stitched on 28 Ct. Kermit using DMC floss. Stitch count is 88W x 50H.
PAF-QB Queen Bee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$13.99 $13.19  
"All Hail the Queen." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Stitch Count: 120W x 120H
17-1241 Not My Monkeys - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
$6.00 $5.39  
"Not my circus, not my monkeys." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 174x130. Designed by Ursula Michael.
MBT-196 Warped Humor - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"I have a warped sense of humor and I'm not afraid to use it." Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 95W x 63H.
MBT-138 All About Me - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$7.99  
"It IS all about me!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H.
MBT-018 Eat the Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H.
06-2675 Is It Too Late? - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39  
A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H. (DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310)
LK-32B All You Need Is Love - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00 $8.99  
"All you need is love and chocolate!!" Model stitched over 2 threads on 27/28 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC (or all DMC floss 744, 3811, 3705, 829, 3848, 731, 3348). Stitch count: 45 x 101H.
20-1019 When I Am Old I Will Sing in the Rain - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
"When I am old, I will sing in the rain!" Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Kreinik #4 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. Specialty Stitch Used: French Knots. Stitch Count: 68W x 98H. Design Size: 4 3/4" x 7"
MBT-236 Marriage - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"Marriage lets you annoy one special person every day for the rest of your life." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 99W x 99H.
19-1358 Expired Warranty - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Pickle Barrel Designs
$10.00 $8.99  
"I don't feel like I'm getting older. It's more like my warranty has expired and my parts are wearing out!" Model stitched on 28 Ct White/Mushroom Lugana using Weeks Dye Works. Stitch Count: 184W x 126H.
19-1153 I Like to Party - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$10.00 $8.99  
"I like to party - and by party I mean Nap!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Grey w/Dots fabric from Fabric Flair using DMC floss. Stitch count for NAP: 162W x 58H, Design Size: 12" x 5" For Just Chillin": 68W x 35H, 5" x 3"
PAF-DTH Deck the Halls - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$5.98 Clearance $3.58  
"Deck the halls and not your family! Model stitched on 14 Ct. Antique White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 60W x 81H.
PAF-HHN Ho Ho No - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$5.98 Clearance $3.58  
"Ho Ho No! Model stitched on 14 Ct. Antique White Aida with DMC floss. Stitch Count: 40W x 51H
PAF-IU Inner Unicorn - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock and Fig
$13.99 Clearance $8.38  
"Believe in your inner unicorn." Model stitched on 14 Ct. White aida with DMC floss and DMC Light Effects. Stitch Count: 100W x 140H.
17-1632 I Solemnly Sweart I Am Up to No Good - Cross Stitch Pattern
by MarNic Designs
$4.00 $3.59  
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Antique White Cashel linen with DMC floss, Gentle Art Sampler threads, Mill Hill beads and Rainbow Gallery Petite Treasure Braid. Stitch Count: 111W x 97H
17-2215 Adultish - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Amy Bruecken Designs
$9.00 $8.09  
"Just another day of not being RICH and FAMOUS" "Adult-ish" "Kinda care, kinda don't." All models were stitched on 30 Ct. Linen color of your choice, using DMC floss. Stitch count for Rich & Famous: 63 x 80, Design Size: 5" x 6" For ADULT-ish: 75 x 30, 5" x 2" For Kinda Care: 51 x 31, 4" x 3"
MBT-198 More Than Coffee - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$10.00  
"I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee." Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 126W x 98H.
17-1524 Who Ate My Ice Cream? - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Vickery Collection
$9.00 Sale $7.19  
Model stitched on 16 Ct. white Aida using DMC floss. Stitch count 169x107
10-1046 Aged Wine - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bobbie G Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
"Wine gets better with age. The older I get the better I like it."
Model stitched on 14 count white cloth using DMC.
Stitch count: 44W x 140H.Design Size: 4" x 10"
MBT-11 Dog Hair - Cross Stitch Pattern
by My Big Toe Designs
$8.00  
"Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately.
04-1602 Wine a Bit - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Sue Hillis
$6.00 $5.39  
Don't be shy - "Wine a bit, You'll feel Better!" Includes wine bottle charm. Finished design size is 5 1/4" x 3 3/4" when stitched on 14 Count fabric.
08-1774 Housework Never Killed Anyone - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39  
Model stitched on 32ct. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch count: 109w x 45h. (DMC alternates are 3740 745 3052 937 3802 223)
08-2099 Retirement Crazy - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$10.00 $8.99  
"Retirement is a Full Time Job" is stitched on 28 count Country French Latte Linen with a stitch count of 54W x 72H. "Welcome to the Rest of Your Life" is stitched on 28 count Sand Quaker with a stitch count of 80W x 68H. "World's Longest Coffee Break" is stitched on 32 count Lambswool Linen with a stitch count of 69W x 68H. Models use Gentle Arts Sampler Threads and Weeks Dye Works. (DMC alternates are 931 729 347 3823 3362 930)
08-2350 Don't Get Your Tinsel In A Tangle - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Lizzie Kate
$6.00 $5.39  
Model stitched on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. The stitch count is 70W x 70H.
09-2029 Life's Journey - Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bobbie G Designs
$6.00 $5.39  
"Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting holy cow what a ride".
Model stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss.
Stitch Count: 84W x 144H. Design Size: 6" x 11"


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